There isn’t a standard list of things that equally applies to all relationships. What works for me, might not work so well for others. For instance, you should see each other as often as possible. But if either of you have way too busy schedules, or it’s a long distance relationship; this might not be possible. That doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot make it work. On the other hand, loyalty is a necessary constant in all sorts of relationships; even if you’re miles apart.
So here are 20 secrets that would help you have the relationship of your life;
Know yourself to know others
Only when you learn to go dig deep within yourself, you begin to learn about others more as well. You’d know how to reach the very depth of people. The more you allow people to connect with you; you’d get to know them better in return.
You alone are responsible for your feelings
Don’t give people the power to control your mind or heart. You’re your own person and perfectly capable of deciding how you feel about certain circumstances or people. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Be yourself, at all costs
If someone doesn’t like you, it’s not your responsibility to change their opinion. You shouldn’t have to please anyone. Don’t change yourself just to gain acceptance. Be proud of who you’re. You’re one of a kind. And if people can’t accept you for who you’re, you don’t really need to keep them around.
To be in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Despite all the differences, people are essentially the same
Sure everyone you meet is going to be a little different than you, but then what is life without a little color. At the same time, you’d have at least a few things in common with the people you meet. Our similarities can link us and be the foundation of something amazing.
No expectations, no disappointments
Not everyone has the same heart as yours. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you treat them. Don’t set any expectations from anyone, you might end up hurt. So spare yourself the hurt, but be the best you can be. And let people surprise you. And if every once in a while you meet someone who isn’t exactly nice, this habit of yours wouldn’t allow you to be affected much by them.
Listen to them, attentively!
If someone’s sitting before you talking about something, even if it doesn’t seem important to you, listen to them intently. It’s important enough for them to talk to you about it and you should respect that. Moreover, they’re talking to you about it because they expect you to listen and understand, don’t let them down. Even if the subject of the conversation doesn’t matter, the person talking matters all the same, don’t be disrespectful.
Love yourself more, to be loved more
You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are.’ Dr. Wayne Dyer
The more you love yourself; you’ll attract people who’d be capable of loving you with the same intensity. You’re basically showing people what you want and how you deserve to be treated. It works like a filter; only the people who’re willing to live up to those standards, will dare reach out to you.
Don’t let the fear of getting hurt turn into the fear of falling in love
Don’t play it safe; you’re never going to have a chance of finding what you’re looking for. Feelings are reciprocated. Love with all your heart, to be loved the same way. When it isn’t returned, it does hurt with the same intensity, but it teaches you how to cope with heartbreak all the same.
You are only responsible for what you do and how you feel. Love without any expectations of it being returned. You get back, what you put out. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt.
Stop chasing people or things, what’s meant for you, will find you
Focus on being the kind of person you’d want in your life. Don’t run after the things or people you think might be right for you. The right people and circumstances will find you when the time is right. Be the right person and the right things will come to you.
Relationships could either be a blessing or a lesson
If it works out, great. You’ve finally found the one! But if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world either. You can learn from it. Failed relationships often teach you lessons that you might never learn otherwise. They teach you about your shortcomings, and about how things ought to be handled when emotions are involved. A passing relationship, or a longer one; there’s always something to gain from them.
A few real friends over several fake ones
You don’t really need a lot of people in your life to make it seem fulfilling. A few good, deep connections are all you need. A few people who you can trust and be yourself around.
Learn the difference between love and lust
Lust is when you love only what you see. Love is when you lust what’s inside.’
If they desire you more than they desire being with you; it’s not going to last. It’s superficial and would burn out sooner than you think. Find something meaningful, something more than just skin deep.
Don’t fear being judged
If you think you’re weird, don’t suppress it. Acknowledge and flaunt it. Who wants to blend in any way! Be yourself, because you can’t please everyone. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will always find fault in your ways. So if you get to choose only one person you can please, that person should undoubtedly be you. If people can accept you for who you are, keep them. If they can’t, you were doing pretty well without them any way.
Be a better person than you were yesterday
You want to find good, genuine people? Become one and you’d cross paths with similar people. Become the person you’d like to be around. You can’t change people, and you shouldn’t. You only have control over yourself, and you can choose to be whoever you want to be, choose wisely!
Don’t allow negativity to creep into your relationship
Put in so much positivity into your relationship, that it has no room left for negativity. Love with all your heart. Be good, have good. Treat your partner with love, respect and kindness and you’ll never to worry about anything going wrong.
Other people are a reflection of you
If you’re critical of everyone else, you’re probably critical of yourself as well. But if you appreciate your strengths, you’ll find yourself looking for the same in other people. Choosing how you see yourself determines how you see other people.
Don’t try to change people
You’re never comfortable around someone you can’t be yourself with; the same is true for other people. Stop suffocating them and don’t lead them into believing that they’re not good enough. Appreciate their qualities, and overlook their shortcomings. Love them for who they truly are.
Let go of pain
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.’ Sonia Ricotti
You can’t move on and find what is truly meant for you, if you hold on to pain and hurt. They’re the very things holding you back. Even if you’ve been hurt, you still can find the love you deserve. But unless you’re willing to give it a chance to find you, it never will.
People make mistakes
You aren’t perfect and neither is any other person alive. Accept them the way they are, to be accepted. Forgive their mistakes, to be forgiven when you do something wrong. After all, the mistakes you make teach you the lessons you need to learn. Stop giving people a hard time, and learn to forgive them.
What is the secret to your successful relationship? Did you find it anywhere in the list above? Have any of these worked for you as a person or in a relationship? Let us know.