In relationships, sometimes, things don’t work out the way that you want them to. Sometimes, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that people make mistakes and sometimes screw up. However, there are certain screwups in relationships that are forgivable. Maybe they forgot to pick up the laundry. Perhaps they raised their voice at you out of frustration. They might have said the wrong thing while talking to you. These are all little things that one can easily move past from. However, it’s completely different when someone makes the mistake of cheating in a relationship.
There are no ifs, and, or buts about it. When someone cheats in a relationship, they are in the wrong. They are the one who screwed up. And it can really hurt to discover that the person you loved has cheated on you. It can sometimes feel like your entire world has just been flipped on its own head. And while there is no way to ever eliminate the pain of getting cheated on completely, there is a way that you would be able to alleviate it: expectation.
In cases of cheating, it’s not just the act of being betrayed that can cause you pain. It’s the fact that you’ve been made a fool out of all this time that can really hurt. However, if you are able to sniff out the clues yourself, then maybe you can start to condition your heart to the prospect of your partner cheating on you. Then, maybe, it becomes easier to bear once you discover more about their infidelity.
It’s difficult to accept, let alone process the bitter truth that your partner is cheating on you. Because you don’t expect them to hurt you in any imaginable way, it seems surreal when you find out about it. It’s even worse when you confront them and they deny it. You know deep down that they’re keeping something from you and the relationship is not what it used to be, but you keep shrugging off that feeling. You keep telling yourself that it’s probably nothing and your mind is playing games with you. Maybe so, but if that feeling persists, you should do something about it. There’s a good chance that your partner is cheating on you if you start noticing the following signs:
1. They feel like you’re interrogating them
Even if it’s something as simple as asking them about their day, they get irritated and try to make you feel bad for your harmless inquiry. You may think that they’re in a mood, but can someone be irritable all the time? I don’t think so. If they’re unable to answer innocent questions, it’s a pretty clear sign that they are in fact hiding something from you. And it would be your biggest mistake to ignore it.
2. They dodge your calls when they’re out
Lately, they fail to find time to answer your calls or get back to you. The reason usually is work or friends or family. And if they don’t call you back, it’s because they conveniently forgot to do so. No one would fail to notice the change. The person, who was once comfortable talking to you around their friends and family, suddenly doesn’t feel the same way anymore. Maybe it’s time you get them to see you and talk about it.
3. They avoid seeing you
Well if anything, this definitely should be a wake-up call. Yes, people get busy, too busy at times, but if they can find time for everyone else but you, it’s pretty obvious that something’s off about the situation. That friend who they’re supposedly always meeting, maybe it’s a time you knew a little more about the friend.
4. They NEVER show/let you use their phone
It’s true that no one should have their privacy invaded. Having said that, if they’re absolutely paranoid about you even so much as looking at their phone, then they’re obviously hiding something. And what else would they hide from someone who knows them inside out, the other man/woman of course?
5. The constant lying
The few times that they’re generous enough to answer your questions, all you get are lies. Be it about what they’ve been doing, or where they’ve been, or who they’ve been with, all you get are lies. You shouldn’t be afraid to confront them about the lies just because it’d hurt them or infuriate them. They’re on the wrong here, and no one should allow themselves to be treated like that.
6. The sudden makeover
They’re doing their hair differently, switching wardrobes and working out just because they feel like doing it. Even though you’ve been after them for the longest time to join the gym, they do so long after you’ve given up trying. And it’s not even for you. They don’t even care if you notice the change or not. And you know them too well to be sure that they’re not doing it just for the sake of it. There’s definitely someone else in the picture, someone to take your place.
7. The scent on them is not their own alone
Have they been smelling different lately? You’d obviously know if they were trying a new scent, but that’s not the case. Additionally, you know that it’s something that the opposite gender would be wearing and that it’s not yours. The last option left is the worst; they’ve been with someone else.
Maybe you fail to notice these signs in them even when they’re present. You feel bad for doubting their loyalty to you. Trust your instinct. If it is persistent on telling you that your partner might be cheating you then it may actually be true. Don’t be afraid of confronting them. Don’t be scared of hurting their feelings, they’re to blame and you’re the one who’s actually been wronged. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be treated like that. Just don’t ignore these signs, when you see them, and then do something about it.
8. They leave the house looking their absolute best.
You get the sense that somehow they are putting a lot of effort into trying to look their best whenever they leave the house. If your partner isn’t metrosexual, then this might definitely be a cause for concern. They might actually be trying to impress someone outside of the relationship. And that person definitely isn’t you.
9. They never give you a straight answer on anything.
Whenever you try to confront them about something surrounding their activities, they dodge the question. They never really give you a straight answer. It’s either they give you some vague or ambiguous answer in an attempt to confuse you or them just straight-up try to change the topic entirely. Sometimes, if they’re desperate, they’ll even act upset at you asking such a question.
10. They don’t fight with you anymore.
You might think that it’s a good thing that your partner doesn’t engage in fights with you anymore. However, fights are actually good for a relationship. When your partner argues with you, it means that they’re still invested enough in the relationship to actually fight for it. If they act like they don’t care, then you definitely should be worried.
11. They act secretive about their financial habits.
They don’t want you to find out about that really expensive restaurant bill that they had to pay when they went on a date with someone else. They don’t want you to know that they spent the night at a hotel with a third party over the weekend. They so desperately want to hide all of the financial activity that they have been partaking in so as to cover their tracks.
12. They use their phone a lot more than they used to.
He’s constantly on his phone these days. It’s as if he’s constantly texting someone. He’s always getting a lot of unexpected phone calls in the middle of the night. You never notice him without his phone in his hands at this point.
13. They hang out with their single friends more often.
Instead of hanging out with you or with other couples, he’s hanging out with a lot of his single friends. This might definitely be a cause for concern because it could indicate that he is no longer really so into the idea of being in a relationship anymore.
14. They have a sudden and drastic change in schedules.
You notice that their schedule has drastically changed all of a sudden. He’s working a lot of late nights at the office. He has to go out of town for a lot of business trips during the weekend. He is never where you expect him to be anymore. And it’s probably because he’s spending a lot of his time with someone else at this point.
15. They never tell you what they’re doing when they’re not with you.
Whenever you ask them about what they do whenever they go out without you, they don’t really seem interested in answering you. It’s either you can tell that they’re lying to you, or they just straight-up refuse to engage in a conversation with you.
16. They don’t invite you out to hang out with other people.
They never really take you out for parties or gatherings anymore. Whenever there is an office party, they don’t ask you to accompany them. Whenever they have to attend a dinner with friends, they don’t ask you to tag along. Perhaps it’s because they know that you’re going to bump into someone who they don’t want you to bump into.
17. They act irritable and tense in the relationship.
They don’t really act like they’re still happy in the relationship at this point. They don’t express any joy or elation at the idea of being with you anymore. It’s as if your very existence is such a big burden to them. It really seems off because he’s just always acting as if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, and yet, he doesn’t initiate the breakup.
18. They get a lot of text messages from unsaved contacts.
Even though you might not really be snooping through their phone or their messages, you can still catch glimpses of their phone from time to time whenever the screen lights up and they receive a new message. And you notice that a lot of these messages or calls are coming from unregistered numbers. That means that they’re trying to hide certain contacts from you.
19. They delete a lot of the evidence online.
You notice that whenever you catch a glimpse of all their online stuff, they are always wiping the slate clean. It’s as if they’re trying to clear all potential evidence that could be found of the crime scene. They don’t want to take any chances on your detective skills. They would rather just completely erase everything to be sure.
20. They tell you that there’s someone else.
And of course, lastly, if he actually just comes right out to tell you that he’s already seeing another person, then you know that things are almost practically over between the two of you. It might be bad that he’s telling you that he’s cheating on you. But at least he was brave enough to come clean about it on his own. He didn’t allow you to find out from someone else. He made sure to be the one to let you know of his infidelity.
At the end of the day, getting cheated on is always going to be terrible. There is just an inherently different kind of pain that comes with getting cheated on by someone you supposedly love. You always want to try to stay loyal, faithful, and committed to your man for the sake of your relationship. But to find out that the person you trusted the most in this world is also the first one to stab your back can be really heartbreaking. That’s why it’s really a different kind of pain. Betrayal isn’t something that is easy to recover from.
And even though you might think that this is your fault. You shouldn’t. Yes, your relationship may not have been a perfect one, and you may have had your shortcomings as a partner. But that should never serve as a valid excuse or reason for anyone to ever cheat on you. You must always make sure that you stay loyal in your relationship in spite of the things that happen in it. That’s what they mean when they say that you should stay true in good times and bad. If he screws you over by cheating on you, then that’s his fault. There’s no excuse for it.
Now, you have a choice here. It’s either you try to forgive him and you take him back. You try to work your relationship out and you take another chance on your partner. The other option is for you to just walk away from the relationship altogether. Sometimes, it can be really hard to recover from a case of infidelity in a relationship. It’s never an easy situation to deal with. But whatever you choose, the most important thing is that you actually own up to your decision.