Have you ever had the unfortunate opportunity of experiencing a love affair with a man who is just far too afraid of commitment? Things start out well. You’re seeing a seemingly great guy. He’s doing such a good job of wooing you and winning you over. He makes you weak in the knees. And things are going so smoothly; straight out of a Hollywood romantic comedy. But then, there’s something that’s nagging at you. There’s that weird feeling that you just can’t seem to shake. You know that he’s falling for you and that you’re falling for him too. But somehow, you also get the feeling that he’s scared.
And it’s really frustrating. You meet someone and you know that you have some kind of connection with one another. Whenever you spend time together, you feel like you are exactly right where you need to be. Things are going smoothly, but then, as if out of impulse, he starts to pull away from you ever so slowly. He will act cold and distant with you. He is going to withdraw into himself and he’s not going to let you in. And he’s going to leave you feeling very confused and uneasy about the whole situation. He’s not going to be giving you much to work with emotionally. You’re going to feel cheated and shortchanged.
And it’s going to be a very emotionally vulnerable position that you’re going to find yourself in. You did your part. You made sure that you didn’t come off too strong. You made sure that you weren’t being too forward or aggressive. You let things take their natural course in the relationship. You didn’t rust or pressure him into doing or being anything for you at all. But you still can’t help but shake the feeling that it’s somehow your fault that he’s pulling away.
Okay. You have to stop thinking that it’s your fault. It’s not. It’s him. He’s scared. He’s frightened. And if it’s not with you, it would have been with just about anyone else. And that’s what this article is going to help you understand. As you read more and more, you’re going to come to discover what his thinking process is; why he’s doing what he’s doing and why none of it is your fault. And you’re also going to grow to discover why it’s possible for him to be in love with you and still be afraid of committing to you at the same time. Here are 3 signs that he’s in love with you but he has a fear of commitment:
1. It’s either a relationship that is full of fireworks or a relationship that is full of… nothing.
It’s as if your relationship is living on the extremes. It’s either it’s so amazing and unbelievable all of the time or it’s just completely sad and nonexistent. You never find your way to a place of moderation or stability. You are constantly having to deal with extremes. One minute, he’s the absolute best – he’s connecting with you in ways that you have never connected with anyone. And on the next minute, it’s as if he doesn’t even know who you are. This is the kind of emotional rollercoaster you have to bear with your relationship all of the time.
2. He doesn’t really put much effort or energy into your relationship.
People generally don’t put too much effort into the things that they don’t commit themselves to. So even if he’s acting like a great guy towards you, you know that he’s not committing to you if you feel like there’s a lack of energy there.
3. He tells you that he’s deeply in love with you but he doesn’t really engage in talks about future plans with you.
He plays the part perfectly. He is always so kind and caring towards you. He treats you with love and respect. He acts like a really great guy; someone who you can always rely on to be there for you – that is until you start talking about the future. Any talks of the future are going to scare him. He doesn’t really want to talk about the future because he only likes to live in the moment that he’s in.
At the end of the day, you can’t really fault him for being like this. You can’t fault a person for having fears and phobias. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to be putting up with it either. It has to get to a point wherein you make a choice; whether it be for him or for yourself. And ideally, you choose yourself. It’s nice if you give him a chance; if you give him the time and space to eventually get over his fears of committing to you. But you also have to strict enough to say when enough is enough; and you need to force him into making a decision with you. And if he’s just not willing to commit to you, then you’re going to have to move on to someone who will.