It’s always unfortunate whenever you feel like the guy that you’re in a relationship with is actually pulling away from you somewhat. But the worst part of having him become distant and withdrawn isn’t necessarily that it hurts you.
It’s not even the fear and the terror that you feel that you might end up losing him in the long run. Those are terrible feelings but that’s not the worst part of the situation.
The worst part of the situation is that a woman’s initial instincts to remedy this scenario are often what ends up driving their men away even farther. They actually end up worsening the situation instead of fixing it to be better. This is because a woman’s usual reaction to a man becoming more distant and withdrawn is usually counterproductive.
It doesn’t really make him want to connect with her even more. It’s going to bring more pressure on him and he will want to detach himself even further from that situation.
When you get the opportunity to actually meet someone who you share compatible personalities and values with, it’s always a great feeling.
It can often feel like the world is on your side and that you can practically do no wrong. You have a man who is always giving you so much time and attention. He really makes it a point to make you feel like a real priority in his life. He always communicates and opens up with you.
He allows himself to get vulnerable with you and you feel so happy and thankful for it. It’s as if nothing could make your situation more perfect than it already is.
But then he suddenly takes you by surprise. Like a thief in the night, he catches you off guard. He just suddenly doesn’t call you as much as he used to. He doesn’t really text you the way that he did in the past.
You get the feeling that your man is really pulling away from you. He no longer makes real plans with you. He doesn’t make you feel included in his life.
And he isn’t really as affectionate with you now as he was before. You can really feel it deep down inside and it makes you feel so bad that something that was once so perfect seems amiss now.
For a lot of women, the initial instinct here is to try to fix the situation by actually making an effort to get him to get closer to her again. She might try to approach him by asking him what’s wrong. She might try to talk to him and call him up a lot as a means to compensate for his lack of effort.
She will try to worry about the relationship on both of their behalf. She might think that she’s actually doing the right thing even though the truth is that she is probably doing more harm than good. If you are finding yourself in this kind of situation, then you just need to stop.
The truth is that what you should really do in this situation is to relax and just let him withdraw for a little bit. It might be hard to do. It might feel like you’re doing nothing.
It might feel like you’re just letting him slip away. But that’s really the best thing that you can do in this scenario. Trying to pull him back with all your might will only make him want to pull away even more.
You don’t want to be pushing him farther and farther away from you. You don’t want to be making the situation worse than it already is. The real key is in making sure that he realizes on his own that he has to come back to you. If you try to force the situation, then you might only be messing things up for yourself entirely.
So, now that that is out of the way, here are 3 other steps that you need to take if you really want him to come back to you and return to the man that he had been in the relationship before he started pulling away.
1. Calm down and realize that it’s natural for a man to pull away for a bit.
Don’t freak out. It’s perfectly normal for a man to pull away when the relationship starts getting too serious. It’s just his way of trying to gather perspective for a bit.
2. Make sure that he realizes that he WANTS to get closer to you again.
You have to let him come to that decision to come back to you on his own. That’s the only way that the two of you can be sure that he genuinely wants to be with you for the long-term.
3. Communicate calmly and maturely when he reaches out to you again.
When he chooses to come back and bridge that gap between you, don’t antagonize him. Be honest about how you feel but always be sensitive. Make him feel safe and secure with you.
