We all need to cope.
When you’ve been in a long-term relationship for quite a while, you start to get used to a certain way of living. And with that, you tend to forget what it’s like to have a purely independent life outside of a relationship. You won’t exactly come to understand the kind of struggles that your single friends keep trying to talk to you about. You don’t necessarily have to bear the stresses of having to go out on terrible dates with terrible people you would never want to get into a relationship with. You won’t constantly have to second-guess just how lovable you are as an individual. You won’t have to wrack your brain thinking about why it feels so hard for you to get into a proper relationship with someone. You will no longer feel the pressure of having to impress another person; to make someone else become attracted to you. So far, everything is stable for you, but then, suddenly, things aren’t so simple anymore.
Relationships end. And it can be difficult having to adjust your lifestyle when you’ve grown to become accustomed to a particular way of living for such a long time now. It can be very vulnerable knowing that you have to navigate your way through a new life without having your partner by your side. It can be like trying to figure out how to walk on your own two feet after you’ve been bedridden for the longest time. It’s a daunting and intimidating ordeal and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
But don’t worry. The mountain that you have to climb isn’t necessarily an impossible one. There is a way for you to minimize the pains and stresses of having to adjust yourself to a single life again. It doesn’t even matter if you were the one who ended the relationship or if you were the one who were dumped. It’s going to be difficult regardless of the circumstances. But again, difficulty doesn’t necessarily have to mean impossibility. It’s still possible for you to adjust to the single life in a healthy manner. You just have to keep these 3 things in mind as you transition back into a life that you have long forgotten.
1. Take some time to just be sad about it.
When a person has played a very significant role in your life for a prolonged period of time, it can be particularly overwhelming when you are forced to confront living a life without this person anymore. And that’s okay. In your most vulnerable and intimate moments, just allow yourself to be human. Grief is a perfectly acceptable response to this situation. Let the sadness flow through you and just accept it. Confront it. Don’t shun it or push it away. Welcome it into your life and just acknowledge your own humanity. This is a necessary step that you need to take on your path to becoming okay again. If you choose to ignore your feelings, you will risk having to confront them at a later and more inconvenient time in your life. So it’s better to just get them out of the way as they come.
2. Make sure that you keep your heart guarded at this fragile phase of your life.
It’s normal for you to want to turn to your loved ones for advice and guidance during this difficult ordeal. But don’t be surprised if they won’t exactly know what to do to help you feel better. In fact, be prepared for a lot of your friends to actually do more harm than good even though they mean well. You might be the type of person who doesn’t want to talk about your breakup because it devastates you to a point beyond repair. And when that happens, make sure your friends and family know about it. Tell them that you’re not looking to talk about your problems and that you just need some distractions while you’re waiting for your fragile heart to regain its strength.
And just avoid all other situations that can trigger unnecessary sentimentality in you. You need to harden your heart for the moment. So just get rid of all little trinkets and mementos that might remind you of the love that you were forced to let go of.
3. Have a more opportunistic outlook on your newfound singlehood.
When one door closes, another one opens. As clich as this saying might be, there’s nothing wrong in wanting to take comfort in it. Just take this temporary life setback as a new opportunity for you to forge a new path for yourself. Singlehood doesn’t have to be so bad as long as you know how to make the most out of it. You just have to stay strong and resilient. And you just have to be able to embrace any new opportunities for growth and development as an individual doesn’t mean that your life is over.
Talk to me
Have you been in this place? Talk to me in the comments below!
