If you have ever been unfortunate enough to date a guy with commitment issues, then you probably already know just how much of a drag it really is. It’s so stressful having to deal with a guy who just doesn’t seem to want to take you seriously. You’re ready to date. You’re ready to be in a relationship. You know what you want and you know what you need to be looking for. But unfortunately, you can’t seem to say the same for him. You just want him to develop into a guy you can really rely on; a guy you can depend on to still be there for you even when you’re not necessarily at your best.
That’s what real commitment is about – having someone who is invested in whatever you share as a couple. And if you don’t have commitment in a relationship, you’re just never going to be able to make things work between the two of you. There are many possible reasons as to why a person might have commitment issues; but most of the time, a lot of it is always going to have to do with past experiences and unresolved issues. It’s not that he was always like this. It’s highly likely that it’s his past that is holding him back from wanting to commit to having a future with you.
And the better you are able to understand the reasons for his commitment issues. The easier it will be for you to address them and deal with them in a proper manner. These are the 4 common reasons as to why a guy might have commitment issues in a relationship – and 3 ways you can deal with it:
1. He has been significantly hurt by one (or multiple) exes in the past.
It isn’t really much too difficult of a concept to grasp; a person who has been hurt in the past is someone who is going to be hesitant moving into the future. He has already tried putting himself out there. He has already experienced committing to someone in the past – and now, he has nothing left to show for it save for his emotional wounds and scars. He has already put himself in a position of vulnerability in the past; and he’s scared of doing the same thing again.
2. He still hasn’t gotten over breaking up with one ex.
First of all, you shouldn’t take this to mean that he doesn’t want to be with you. It’s still perfectly plausible for a guy to not be over a girl and yet want to be with another woman. Perhaps he’s just dealing with some really heavy issues from this previous relationships – and just hasn’t come to a resolution on them yet. He knows he wants to be with you; it’s just that he can’t really give you all of his heart just yet.
3. He is embarrassed by past mistakes in his life.
Maybe he has commitment issues as a result of his personal self-esteem issues. A lot of times, a man will not want to commit to you just because he’ embarrassed about the mistakes that he has committed in his past. He might think that you deserve someone better than him; someone who hasn’t stumbled as much as he has. And that’s why he’s really not showing any signs of commitment at the moment.
4. He has significantly hurt some other girl in the past.
Maybe he’s scared on your behalf. Maybe he’s scared of the type of guy he becomes when he gets into a relationship. Maybe the reason that he doesn’t want to commit to you is because he thinks he might hurt you when he does. He has probably hurt someone in the past; and he doesn’t want to do the same to you. He would want to make sure that he’s mature enough to take care of a girl.
You can deal with his commitment issues by doing the following:
5. Talk to him about his past.
Always be open and communicative with him. Let him know that he is always free to talk to you about whatever he needs to get off his chest. Make him feel safe about expressing himself to you.
6. Reassure him that you’re always going to be there for him.
Sometimes, the best way to get him to commit to you is to actually show him that you’re REALLY ready to commit to him. Reassure him of your commitment and dedication to your relationship. Show him that he has absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to you.
7. Communicate your personal needs and expectations regarding the relationship.
Let him know where you stand. If you don’t tell him about how you feel inside, then he’s never going to know just how his lack of commitment is affecting you. Just be honest with him and hope that he understands.
