It’s the middle of the night. You are lying in your bed and you just can’t seem to fall asleep. You are filled with absolute rage that you have been holding in for a long time now. You just can’t seem to bring yourself to let go of the anger that is filling your soul at the moment. Your man didn’t call you. He didn’t respond to your text messages. He didn’t show up for you even when he promised you that he would. And this isn’t the first time that this has happened. It’s not the second time either. This has been something that has plagued your relationship in time memoriam. And you can’t take it anymore. You are just fed up with being constantly disappointed by the man who supposedly loves you. You are desperately stuck in a relationship that you are so tired of and you know that the potential love of your life is just out there waiting for you.
But that’s the problem. You haven’t found this person yet. You haven’t met this man who is going to be the answer to all your current nightmares. You haven’t met the guy who you know you can build a relationship with. The world seems to be in shortage of men like him; men who are actually worth taking a chance on. It’s as if all of the nice guys in the world have been wiped off the face of existence. It feels like the only types of guys you ever really end up with are the ones who are just destined to break your heart. It’s damn near impossible to actually find a guy who is going to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated; a man who genuinely cares about your well-being. It’s so hard to find a man who is actually going to prioritize your needs; a man who is willing to live up to whatever expectations you set for him and your relationship. You really put all your hopes in finding this guy so that you don’t lose your faith in love.
You decide to continually put yourself out there despite all of the disappointment that you have had to endure. And you actually meet a guy who has potential. You see that maybe, you will be able to make things work with him and so you hope for the best. But then it turns out he’s just like all the other men in the past. He turns out to be a guy who hurts you and causes you pain after all. And your hope diminishes even more. It seems like these terrible men are everywhere and there is no escaping them. Are there really no more good men left in this world? You are so tired of just getting your hopes up only to be disappointed. You are so tired of getting your heart broken again an again by the same type of guy. You hate the person that you are becoming as a result of being in a relationship with these men who do nothing but break and destroy your spirit.
But you try to endure. You accept that you are living a life of pain and that there’s probably no one who is ever going to be able to change your mind or perspective anymore. You’ve been dating so much and you haven’t yet found the one who is right for you. You are tired of not being taken seriously. And so you start to become cynical to the whole idea of love and relationships. Is it really that hard to find a man who would be willing to commit to you? Are you just asking for far too much from the men you date? Why does it feel like you’re being unreasonable with your expectations and needs?
Well, there is a reason that you keep getting attracted to the wrong types of men. There is a reason for all of the pain that you have been putting yourself through. And here they are:
1. You are attracted to guys you want to fix.
Stop treating men like passion projects. Stop treating men as objects of your personal dreams and goals. Men are human beings and you can’t “fix” them.
2. You are pretty scared of commitment yourself.
Yes. Deep down inside, you might be scared of commitment yourself. And that’s why your subconscious is always drawing you towards men who you know would never be able to commit to you as well.
3. You don’t embrace predictable men because they are “boring”.
There is value in predictability. Don’t count out the predictable guy just because you think he is boring. A predictable man is going to bring a sense of consistency and stability to your relationship.
4. You are blinded by a person’s physical appeal.
Look beyond a person’s looks. Don’t be blinded to his personality just because of how hot he is. You might be looking at all the wrong signs.