Trust isn’t really the easiest thing for a lot of people to come by. A lot of times, people can struggle with giving trust to others – even those they are in intimate relationships with. There are plenty of people in this world who have gone through some emotionally traumatizing experiences in the past.
Maybe they have had some exes cheat on them in previous relationships. Perhaps they have had business partners screw them out of a big deal. The point here is that betrayal can happen to anyone and it can strike anywhere. And whenever someone is unfortunate enough to experience being betrayed, they have a tendency to bring a lot of emotional baggage into future relationships. But that baggage can be really hard to spot because it can manifest itself in different ways.
It isn’t always easy to identify the certain signs or red flags that you have trust issues in your own relationship. You might think that you completely trust your partner even when it’s far from the truth. And that’s always a bad thing because these signs and red flags are never going to be good for a relationship. You can never afford to just ignore them.
A lot of times, your trust issues can be manifested in the form of you stalking your partner on social media and monitoring all of their online activities. Maybe you have this insatiable desire to always stay up to date on your partner’s whereabouts and doings. Maybe you might be convinced that your partner is cheating on you, lying to you, or withholding valuable information from you even when you don’t have any shred of evidence.
You create all sorts of hypotheticals in your own mind and you stress the entire relationship out as a result of doing so. Sometimes, your trust issues can also be manifested in the form of codependency. You always rely on your partner to be there for you in a physical sense because you don’t fully trust what they would do if you weren’t around.
If a lot of these descriptors actually sound familiar, then you need to be very careful. These might apply to you and your relationship and you’re going to need to do something about it. If left ignored or unaddressed, it could potentially cause an implosion in your relationship.
1. You constantly stalk their social media activities.
It’s only normal that you would want to stalk your partner to a certain extent. You just want to know what the love of your life is up to. For instance, you would want to see photos of what they might have looked like before. Perhaps, you are interested in finding out about the places that they have traveled to in the past. That’s not weird.
However, it does get really weird when you are paranoid about it. It’s not healthy when you are practically obsessing over your partner’s past, present, and future. You shouldn’t have to be concerning yourself with EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of your partner’s social media life. That’s just going to indicate a clear lack of trust in the relationship.
2. You stalk their ex’s social media as well.
Or their closest friends, siblings, parents, neighbors, whatever. You practically stalk every single person in your partner’s life because you want to know if there’s anything fishy that’s going on. That’s very unhealthy because it’s the kind of obsession that is toxic to a relationship.
To trust another person means being able to honor boundaries within a relationship. You don’t have to be playing detective with your partner. You should both trust that you give each other all the necessary information for your relationship to grow as you move forward as a couple.
3. You act codependent in the relationship.
When you act codependent in your relationship, then that is often a sign of much deeper and more complex issues that exist between the two of you. You have to allow your partner to be their own person outside of your relationship. Yes, you are a couple. But you have to recognize the fact that your relationship isn’t the sole definition of what makes up your individual lives.
If you are holding back the individuality of your partner, then that might show your fears and insecurities; that might be a revelation of your deep trust issues. It shows that you don’t trust your partner enough to allow them to express or manifest their individuality. It shows that you might be too controlling and you are masking it with your codependence.
4. You pick fights with your partner.
A lot of times, we push people away as a means of just testing how willing they are to stay with us. And that’s not healthy because that is a trust issue. You are essentially insecure about how much your partner would fight for you – and that’s why you put them through such an immature and toxic test.