You know that old cliché, right? You should always be someone’s priority, and you should never really allow yourself to be an option. And it’s so easy to eat a cliché like that up when you first hear it. You never really believe that you would ever find yourself in that position. You tell yourself that you would never entertain a guy who is only going to be stringing you along like a lapdog.
You say that you are always going to hold on to your dignity and that you would never give up your self-respect for the possibility of being loved by someone. It’s so easy to say and believe all of those things. But you can never really prepare yourself for when you’re in the actual situation.
When you fall in love, your reason is compromised. Love is such a powerful feeling, and that isn’t always going to be a good thing. Sometimes, love can be so powerful to the point that it actually impairs your thinking and your rationality. There will be times wherein your love can drive you to the point of desperation wherein you become blind to the things that you need to stay mindful of. And this is a real problem because you end up letting other people treat you in ways that you shouldn’t be letting people treat you. This is exactly what happens to a lot of women who find themselves in relationships with men who only treat them like options and not a priority.
This is precisely why you always have to make it a point to stay mindful and aware of how your man is treating you. You want to be keeping close tabs on the ins and outs of your relationship. Even though you might be tempted to have your feelings just completely take over you, you need to be better than that.
It’s important that you maintain a sense of objectivity so that you are able to get a good grasp of how your man might truly feel about you. If you notice that your man is actually guilty of the things that are going to be laid out in this article for you, then you know that something is off. You might have to call him out on his feelings for you, or you might just have to walk away from him altogether.
1. He only ever really shows up whenever he needs something from you.
He literally only ever really reaches out to you whenever he wants something. He’s never the type of man who would just reach out to you out of the blue just to talk to you. He only messages you when he needs you to do something for him. All of the affection he shows you is borne out of selfish impulses and desires.
You’re going through a tough time, maybe at work or with family, and you need someone to lean on. But when you reach out, he’s too busy, distracted, or uninterested. Then, a few days later, he’s all over you, but only because he needs a favor or wants your help with something. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? A genuine partner should be there for you during your highs and lows, not just when it suits them.
Consider the times you’ve needed him emotionally, and he was absent. Compare that to how he suddenly appears when he requires something from you. Start noticing these patterns. Are you giving more than you’re receiving? A man who truly values you will be there for you, without any strings attached.
2. He doesn’t really express an interest in your passions.
Any guy who truly prioritizes you is always going to express a deep interest in the things that you are most passionate about. He might not necessarily like everything that you like, but he isn’t going to just automatically dismiss your interests outright. His interest in your life is very telling of how much you might mean to him.
If he’s mostly just concerning himself with his own needs and his personal desires and interests, then that might be an indicator that he doesn’t really consider you to be important at all. A guy who is genuinely into you would always want to get to know you better.
Think about the last time you excitedly shared something you love, maybe a hobby, a project, or even a dream, and he barely looked up from his phone. Did he ask questions, show enthusiasm, or support your passion? Or did he shrug it off as if it didn’t matter? Real partners dive into your world because they care about what lights you up.
It’s not about him loving everything you love but about him respecting and valuing your passions. If he dismisses what you care about, he’s dismissing a part of who you are. You deserve someone who gets excited about your excitement, who asks about your day and truly listens. Remember that.
3. He doesn’t open up to you about his life.
He doesn’t really talk to you about his life. Whenever something big takes place in his life, he doesn’t go to you right away. Sometimes, he might not even go to you at all. He might resort to just talking to his friends and family about it. He makes you feel excluded.
That’s how you know that you’re only an option. If he truly valued you and prioritized you, then he would always make it a point to come to you immediately for important news in his life. Instead, you find yourself waiting for scraps of attention, making excuses for his lack of commitment. These are just some of the clear signs he sees you as an option, as he seems more invested in his own convenience than in nurturing a real connection with you. It’s essential to recognize this behavior and understand your worth, as you deserve someone who will treat you as a priority in their life.
When he keeps you out of the loop, it’s a sign he doesn’t see you as a partner. Being in a relationship means sharing your life with someone else. If he can’t even bother to tell you about significant events, what does that say about his commitment? Partners should be each other’s confidants, sharing dreams, fears, and everything in between.
You should never feel like you’re on the outside looking in. If he’s not opening up, it’s time to reassess. You deserve to be with someone who considers you their go-to person for news, big or small. Don’t settle for anything less.
4. He lets you do all of the work in the relationship.
In any kind of romantic relationship, it’s always essential that the two people involved put in a balanced effort. It takes two to tango, as they say. And when it’s only one person who is giving effort in the relationship, then it means that the relationship is one-sided.
It’s never a good sign to be in a relationship with someone who expects you to do all of the work. It means that he doesn’t value you enough to actually try to earn your love and affection. He’s okay with just letting you do the heavy lifting on his behalf.
Think about the last time you both made plans. Who initiated? Who followed through? If you find yourself doing all the planning, the calling, the texting, and the caring, it’s a red flag. A relationship should feel like a partnership, not a solo mission. When you’re always the one reaching out, it can feel exhausting and one-sided.
You deserve someone who meets you halfway, who puts in the effort without you having to ask. If he’s not doing that, he’s taking you for granted. Relationships are about balance, and if he can’t contribute, then maybe it’s time to rethink who you’re giving your energy to.
5. He avoids discussing the future with you.
When a guy is genuinely serious about you, he’s going to want to include you in his plans for the future. He’ll talk about the things he wants to achieve and how you fit into those plans. But if he’s avoiding these conversations or becomes evasive every time you bring up the future, it’s a sign of trouble.
You might notice he dodges questions about long-term plans or changes the subject when you talk about where things are headed. He might say things like, “Let’s not think about the future right now,” or “I’m just living in the moment.” These are not the words of someone who sees you as a permanent fixture in their life.
A man who is invested in you will be excited about planning a future together, whether it’s about the next vacation or moving in together someday. If he’s not doing that, it’s worth asking yourself why. Your future is just as important as his, and you have every right to know where you stand.
When he’s serious about you, those future plans naturally include you, whether it’s discussing goals or making plans together. If he can’t picture the future with you in it, maybe it’s time to think about your future without him.
6. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family.
Introducing a partner to friends and family is a big step in any relationship. It shows that he’s proud to have you in his life and wants the important people in his world to meet you. If he’s keeping you a secret or hasn’t made any effort to introduce you to the people closest to him, it’s a red flag.
Consider how often he talks about his friends and family. Does he invite you to gatherings or events? Or do you feel like you’re hidden away, only to be seen when it’s convenient for him? A man who sees a future with you will want you to be part of his life, and that includes meeting the people who mean the most to him.
If he’s keeping you in the shadows, it’s time to have a conversation about why. You deserve to be with someone who proudly shows you off to the world, not someone who keeps you on the sidelines.
Meeting friends and family is a clear indication of how serious he is. If he’s making excuses or always “not ready,” it might be time to reconsider where you stand in his life. You shouldn’t have to beg to be included.
7. He makes you feel more alone than together.
Being in a relationship should mean having someone to share your life with, someone who makes you feel less alone. But if you’re with someone who makes you feel isolated or lonely, it’s a clear sign that something is off. You should feel supported and loved, not like you’re going through life solo.
Think about how you feel after spending time with him. Do you feel energized and happy, or drained and lonely? If it’s the latter, you might be in a relationship with someone who isn’t truly invested in you. A real partner will lift you up, not bring you down.
Don’t ignore the feeling of loneliness. It’s your heart’s way of telling you that something needs to change. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel cherished and appreciated, not someone who leaves you feeling empty.
Feeling more alone when you’re with him than when you’re not is a sign something’s wrong. Love should make you feel safe and supported, not isolated. Listen to that feeling and take action if it’s not what you deserve.
Remember, it’s important to be with someone who cherishes you and makes you feel valued every day. You deserve nothing less. Keep the love alive!
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Have you ever felt like just an option in a relationship? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments. I love you guys!
