When we are in a relationship, we overlook all those things which are harmful to us. Not every relationship is toxic from the start, sometimes a relationship turns into a toxic one with the passage of time. Instead of realizing the unhealthy attributes of a relationship and emotional torture we try to embrace it by thinking of it as “normal” and a part of the relationship. While in a toxic relationship you will feel your energy draining out. There is hardly anything positive in that relationship.
You keep on reminiscing about the good times of your relationship because you don’t make new memories. While a healthy relationship lets you flourish and brings out the best in you, a toxic relationship hinders your growth, leaves you exhausted and depressed. Your past happy times are better than your present moments. The destructive behavior of your partner makes you loathe yourself, and you find happiness when they are not around you.
The distance seems to be a blessing whereas, in a healthy relationship the distance becomes unbearable. Toxic relationship destroys your mental health and plays a role in deteriorating your physical health too. When there is no mental peace and emotional stability your health experiences a downward degradation. There are sure signs that a person needs to know to realize if their relationship is toxic or not:
1. PHYSICAL AFFECTION GROWS LESS
When a couple is in love, you will often notice them making romantic gestures with each other. They will always want to hold hands, hug or even kiss each other. They will walk with their fingers locked together. They will stay close to each other. Sex is a part of their relationship. Once you find yourself or your partner drifting far from each other, you will notice that these gestures of physical affection are lost. You no longer feel the urge to hug or kiss your other half. This is toxic because one of the partners will feel rejected and would long for such affection. It is not easy to digest that your partner no longer wants your physical affection or give you the same.
2. THERE ARE MORE COMPLAINING SESSIONS WITH YOUR FRIENDS
Friends are our always the go-to therapist whenever something goes wrong in our relationships. We discuss petty fights with them and sometimes those problems which we don’t even share with our partner’s first. This is also very normal. The problem occurs when you have anything good to discuss your relationship with your friends. A surprise, a cute gift or a perfect date, nothing of this sort. You have a list of complaints about your partner. Your partner should be the one to help you with your problems, not the one creating them. This is a red flag for you to understand that your relationship has become a toxic one and you need to step out of it.
3. AVOIDANCE OF IMPORTANT ISSUES
Some matters in life need prompt attention and care. Sometimes you find yourself fighting with specific serious issues that you want to address to your partner, but your partner seems to avoid them every time. Your concerns don’t matter to them. It is alarming when your partner pays no heed to your worries and tends to prevent them. Gradually, this turns into abusive behavior. People like these don’t want to take up responsibilities and turn aggressive when are asked to do so. Their selfishness takes over them, and they forget that they have to look after their partner as well. Leave such people who don’t want to take up responsibilities and helping in clearing their partner’s apprehensions or concerns.
4. YOU START AVOIDING THE REALITY THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC FOR YOU
Every person can judge and know what they are in and how is it working for them. Your sixth sense and consciousness allow you to fathom all the shortcomings and weak points of your engagements. Even though from the inside we know that we are being unfair to ourselves we still hold on to the same rope which cuts our hands. This is because we don’t want to let go of someone we are emotionally attached to or someone we have spent a certain time period of life. The thought that we have been together since years bound us from leaving a toxic person. But the truth we can once again see the rainbows when we push the dark clouds away from our life.
It is never easy to realize such a bitter truth and act upon it accordingly. But it is none the less the only decent thing we can do for ourselves. There is always a silver lining and let’s not forget that we won’t be able to see it unless we keep ourselves in haze and darkness.