It can be a very exciting time in your relationship when you know that you’re about to get physically intimate for the first time. And when we say physically intimate, we mean having sex for the first time. This is the pinnacle of physical intimacy after all. It’s as if every kiss, touch, and hug that you have ever had has led you to this one moment.
And so it’s understandable if you feel a certain sense of pressure and anxiety as you’re leading up to the big event. You want your first time to be absolutely magical. You want it to be as amazing as they make it out to be in the movies.
But with incredibly high expectations come a lot of pressure as well. And while you can’t really control everything that life is going to throw your relationship, you can still do your best to prepare for your first night together in the bedroom. After all, part of being responsible adults in a relationship is preparedness on both of your parts. You have to make sure that you talk about the things that need to be talked about.
And yes, having “the talk” before you actually have sex can be very awkward – and sometimes, off-putting. But it’s still something that you’re going to have to do if you want to do things right. You’ve already seen it in the movies. You’ve read about it in books and magazines. Hell, it might have even happened to one or a few of your friends already. The couple doesn’t have “the talk” before they have sex.
They don’t prepare for it. And they end up getting unwanted pregnancies that destroy their relationships – and potentially, their lives as well. Or sometimes, some diseases can get transferred because of a lack of communication – and nobody wants that either.
So yes, despite the fact that it’s awkward to have that talk before you actually do it for the first time, it’s important that you do. There are just some things that the both of you need to address before you get down to business. And it’s worth the patience and awkwardness.
So what topics are these exactly? What should you be discussing with your partner anyway? Well, it’s entirely up to you as a couple. It all depends on how thorough you want to be in your preparation. But if you want, here is a good place to start:
1. Talk about your sexual history.
This is probably the most awkward topic that you’re going to have to discuss as a couple, but it’s a very important one. Why? Well, you have to remember that sex is a physical act. And it being a physical act may pose a few health risks for you.
So you always want to make sure that your partner’s sexual history hasn’t compromised their sexual health – so that you don’t also end up compromising yours as a result. You just want to make sure that you aren’t opening yourself up to contracting any unwanted diseases with your carelessness and recklessness. It always pays to do background checks. Better safe than sorry, as they always say.
2. Talk about what having sex is going to mean for the future of your relationship.
Granted, the act of having sex is going to be a big deal for a relationship. But how big a deal is it going to be for the two of you? What does this mean for the future of your relationship? How is your relationship going to change after you have sex for the first time? Are things even going to change at all? You want to make sure that things don’t get awkward after you do it for the first time. So you have to keep both of your expectations in check.
3. Talk about your needs, turn-ons, fetishes, preferences, and fantasies in the bedroom.
And part of making sure that the first experience is going to go as smoothly as possible is actually going into it with a game plan. Sure, it might seem really corny and unnecessary at first. But don’t kid yourself. When you see the couples in the movies doing it for the first time and everything always seems to go so well, it’s never like that in real life. You can cut all of the awkwardness that is awaiting you by actually knowing what you have to do once you’re there.
4. Talk about how frequently you plan on having sex as a couple.
And of course, after the first time you’re going to have sex, you’re going to want to do it again and again. But you’re busy people. You have your individual lives to live. So it might help to talk about how often you expect to be having sex as a couple – so that no one ends up getting false hopes and expectations.
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