Meet the parents.
Okay. To start things off, just because your significant other’s parents aren’t necessarily fond of you doesn’t mean that you are going to break up. Yes, your partner’s family is important to them. And yes, it should be just as important for you to be able to win their hearts over. But it’s not an absolute necessity in maintaining the romance between the two of you. You are in a relationship with your significant other. Any relationship that you might have with their family is just a relationship by extension; it’s not the relationship that you should really be prioritizing.
So now that that’s out of the way and you now understand how your priorities should be stacked, it’s still important for you to try your best to get your partner’s family to like you. It’s just going to make the dynamic of your relationship so much easier in the long run when you get the approval of the family. And in general, the more people who like you in this world, the better you will feel because of it. And if you find yourself in a sticky social situation with regards to your partner’s parents, then don’t worry too much about it. There is a possible solution to this problem that you’re facing. You don’t have to panic just yet.
You don’t have to put too much pressure on yourself to win over their hearts when you first meet. Yes, first impressions are significant, but they’re not the whole story. You always have the capacity to change the narrative if the initial meeting doesn’t exactly go the way that you would want it to. There are still some possible remedies that you could exhaust to try and make the situation a little better for you.
It’s no easy feat trying to get your partner’s family to love you or to even like you. You can’t possibly control or manipulate all of the variables involved. You can only do the best that you can and hope for the best. If you’re feeling a little lost with how to go about getting them to accept you, then you could use this as a starting guide. Here are 4 things you should do to try to get your partner’s parents to like you.
1. Bring a gift or a token every time you pay them a visit.
It may seem kind of tacky and materialistic for you to be bringing your partner’s parents a gift whenever you visit. But you shouldn’t really see it like that. You should see the gift as a representation of the effort that you’re willing to put in this relationship with your partner and with their family. It’s also a very polite thing to do. And if they see the act of you bringing a present over as a negative, then that speaks more about their character than it does about yours. It doesn’t have to be lavish or over the top. It just has to be something that’s sincere and meaningful.
2. Don’t make yourself at home even when they tell you it’s okay to do so.
As a common courtesy, your partner’s family will probably tell you to make yourself at home whenever you visit but you have to make sure that you don’t do that. You can’t expect them to be fond of you if you just willingly prop your feet up on furniture; or if you expect others to just clean up after whatever mess you might make. Treat their home with respect and you might just earn their respect in return. Even something as simple as offering to do the dishes after dinner can go a long way.
It’s not rare for the cause of a lot of turmoil in family settings comes from having fundamental differences in beliefs and opinions about sensitive issues. Perhaps, you just don’t share the same religious or political views as your partner’s parents. That’s okay. You can still have a good relationship despite these differences. You just have to make sure that you don’t dwell on these differences for too long. Focus on the things that actually have potential of uniting you. Talk about common interests. Engage in shared hobbies and passions. Really devote more time to the things that connect you as people.
4. Don’t try too hard to get them to like you.
And lastly, just be your regular self. Don’t try too hard or else you will risk coming off to strong. Just be your regular confident self and hope for the best. If they don’t like who you really are, then that shouldn’t be your problem anymore. You can only do your best and be your best. If things still don’t work out, then there’s no point in just worrying about things any further.
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