Never break up on texts.
A breakup is always going to be hard enough as it is on its own. But things are going to be made even more difficult when you are forcing yourself to break up with a person you’re still madly in love with. Hey, it happens. You could be in a deep and meaningful relationship with someone you care about deeply and things can still fall apart. You could love a person to the depths of the earth but sometimes, that love isn’t going to be enough to sustain the bond and connection that a relationship really needs to stay strong.
Sometimes, relationships reach a certain plateau, and not even all the love in the world will be able to break through that plateau and that’s the problem. Relationships have to always be engaged in constant growth, and whenever that growth is stymied, then the relationship will eventually wither away into nothing. Couples who love one another will start to lose their connections with each other and they will start to walk their individual paths. And so even though you are deeply in love with someone, it isn’t necessarily a guarantee that you are still both willing to be walking the same path alongside one another. And so you have to break up; you have to be able to set one another free not because the love is gone, but because you love each other too much to hold one another back. And if you keep on thinking that you have to wait for that right moment to do it, you’re going to be waiting forever. There is never a right moment to break up with someone you love deeply. Sometimes, you just have to muster up the courage to dive right into things regardless of how difficult it may be.
And when you do breakup with a person you are still madly in love with, it’s going to suck. There’s no sugarcoating it. You have to be prepared for the painful situation that you will be choosing to put yourself in. You are going to have to come to terms with the fact that what you’re doing isn’t going to be easy, but it’s necessary for the both of you to make the most out of your lives.
You are going to have to force yourselves to be honest with one another and come to terms with the truth: you love each other but things aren’t working out the way that they should be. You love each other but you just can’t seem to satisfy one another’s needs in the relationship anymore. Little by little, your resentment for one another is overpowering the love that you have and you relationship is starting to turn toxic. You want to end things so that you don’t let that toxicity contaminate your individual lives. You still both genuinely care about each other’s happiness and that’s why you’re doing this. You don’t make each other happy anymore and you have to move on to other things or people that can fill that void for you. You are going to break up and you might even have a few waterworks too.
But that doesn’t mean that all the hard parts are going to be over. You will still be bombarded with the temptation to get back together. You are still going to be plagued with the possibility of giving things another try and hoping for the best. You will doubt the decision that you made and you will second guess yourself and it will end up complicating things even further. Don’t allow yourself to feel these things. This doesn’t have to be as difficult as it already is. Try to follow these 4 tips to make the breakup as bearable and as seamless as humanly possible.
1. Make sure that you break up with your partner in person.
Breakups in general should always be done in person. It makes it more real and more legitimate. Breakups done over the phone are cowardly and insincere.
2. Be sure about your decision and stand by it no matter what.
Sometimes, you’re going to have to be strong for the sake of both of you in the relationship. Your partner might be feeling weak and won’t want to break up with you despite the sad state of your relationship. You have to resist the temptation to give things another shot and you have to be strong for your partner.
3. Establish boundaries and rules for your breakup.
Make sure that you establish rules about your breakup. An example of such a rule for you would be to not engage in any communications or to not be around one another after you’ve ended things in the relationship.
4. Make sure that you spend substantial time apart immediately after the breakup.
It wouldn’t be healthy for you to still be in constant communication or to still be spending time with each other after a breakup. It’s a very unhealthy way of moving on.
Talk to me
Have you broken up with someone? Tell me about it in the comments below!