So why is it so hard for some people to move on in relationships? What makes it so difficult? For most of these people, they may not just be realizing that there are a few delusions that they fall victim to which keep them from moving on.
Relationships aren’t always going to be perfect. A huge bulk of relationships are going to end with breakups. That’s just a plain fact of life. While things may seem like a good idea at the start, it just doesn’t always turn up that way. People need to accept this fact and live with it. Another thing that people have to realize is that breakups are caused by a wide variety of possible reasons and it’s virtually impossible to generalize every breakup. Some breakups are brought about by a series of toxic disagreements and hardships between the people involved. Other breakups are caused by a lack of effort by one or two people in the relationship. There are also some breakups that are instigated by third-party involvement. It’s a list without an end, and there’s just no getting around it.
It’s a difficult idea to accept but with breakups, there will always be winners and there will be losers. While a breakup can be hard on both participants involved in the relationship, it is bound to hit one person more than it hits the other. In the cases of breakups where one person just decides to quit the relationship, the breakup will be much more emotionally traumatizing on the person who was quitted on. Breakups can also be very hard on the person who takes a long time to move on especially when they know that their partner has seemingly gotten over the breakup before they did. That’s why it is important for any person who is dealing with a difficult breakup to not fall into the trap of lingering with the emotional stress of the situation. You are only putting yourself on more vulnerable ground when you do that. It’s okay to grieve, but you should always have a mind on moving on in life. You can’t afford to stay stuck in your state of sadness and sorrow.
So why is it so hard for some people to move on in relationships? What makes it so difficult? For most of these people, they may not just be realizing that there are a few delusions that they fall victim to which keep them from moving on. Once they are aware of these delusions and distractions, maybe the process of moving on will come easier to them. Some basic examples of these delusions are:
1. Your ex looks so happy in his new pictures.
Remember that tagged pictures on Facebook or on Instagram are always deceiving. People only put on social media an image of themselves that they WANT to project, not necessarily the ACTUAL image of the life that they’re living. He may be putting on a nice smile in a lot of his pictures, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s happy about your breakup. You should stop focusing on his life and his emotions, and start diverting all your energies to enhancing your own life instead.– Continue reading on the next page
2. Your ex looks so much hotter and more attractive now than before.
That’s a lie. He looks no different and you know it. Your brain is just playing a trick on you. It’s a natural instinct for human beings to never be content; to always want the things we can’t have. That’s why we always feel the need to purchase the latest gadgets or fashion trends, because we grow discontented with all the things we have in our possession. Your mind is just playing him up to be a really hot catch because of the fact that you can’t have him anymore. In truth, he’s really no different from when you chose to break up.В
3. Your ex’s new flame is so much better than you ever were.
No she’s not. Again, your misery has somehow depreciated your sense of self-worth and your mind is playing tricks on you. She’s really not better than you at all. Chances are, you don’t even know his new girl too well. You’re just thinking that because he’s with her now, that must mean that he upgraded. Remember that not all rebound relationships are upgrades. A lot of the time, they can also be downgrades.– Continue reading on the next page
4. The love that you and your ex used to have was never real.
It was real and you should do yourself a favor and stop lying to yourself. Just because your relationship ended and didn’t turn out the way that you wanted it to, doesn’t mean that your love wasn’t real. There are plenty of instances wherein relationships with true love have had to end. Yours isn’t any different. Stop delegitimizing what you had just because you weren’t able to make it all the way.
5. You and your ex can still remain friends after a breakup.
No, you can’t. He was a huge part of your old life. He helped build the life that you have now and there’s just no getting around it. He will always be an important part of your life and you can do nothing about that. There’s no going back to normal with him. Just accept that he’s once played an important role in your life and now, it’s time to move on.
Talk to me
Have you made any of these mistakes? Let me know in the comments below!