There might be a million things that are running through your mind about what the other woman is like. It always sucks whenever you find yourself in a position wherein infidelity is rearing its ugly head in your relationship. You are trying to think about what could have led your partner to cheat on you in the first place.
You think about what you could have done to treat him better in your relationship. But to go along with all of the inherent problems in your own relationship, you are also stuck to wonder and fantasize about what the other woman is going to be like.
You might still be dealing with all of the shock and bewilderment that comes with this situation. You love your partner and you thought that you would always be able to rely on them. But then they go and betray you so ruthlessly.
You are trying to decipher between all of the lies and the truth that is being laid out before you. You try to think back to all of the red flags that you might have missed. You are left feeling like an absolute fool.
But the worst of it all is that you know that you’re being compared to this other girl. In your mind, she must be so amazing. In your mind, she might be everything that you wish you could be.
She might already be the person you have always wanted to be. And it’s important for you to stop it with that kind of mindset. It’s very unhealthy. It’s very important that you are really able to keep things real. Gather some perspective for a little bit before you let yourself get carried away by your thoughts.
Here are some myths that you might be believed about the “other” woman.
1. She must really be amazing.
She might not. Even though you’re thinking that she’s a really amazing woman, you should know that chances are that she isn’t. She might just happen to be a woman who was at the right place at the right time, so to speak.
Affairs are usually “spur of the moment” kinds of arrangements. He didn’t pursue her. They probably just happened out of the blue. She probably isn’t going to be some amazing woman.
2. He’s probably super in love with her.
If he were in love with her, then you would know about it. However, if he’s still going home to you at the end of the day, then you know where his priorities lie. If he spends more time with you, then you know that he considers you to be the more important person.
Remember that the person he spends more time on is the one he is going to value more. He might be cheating on you but that doesn’t mean that he loves the person he is having an affair with more. Use his love to your advantage and try to set him straight.
3. They’re probably more compatible than we are.
That isn’t necessarily the case. Okay, you and your husband might have a few compatibility issues. That’s probably why he went off to cheat in the first place. However, you shouldn’t discount the fact that the two of you have still had some wonderful memories together.
You have a special bond that has lasted all the way to an actual marriage. That speaks loads for the levels of compatibility between the two of you. He and his mistress aren’t going to be as compatible considering the short amount of time that they have spent together.
4. She is his soulmate.
Just because they happen to be having an affair with one another doesn’t mean that they are necessary soulmates. You must know that statistics show that cheaters are always likely to choose to stay with their wives than run off with their mistresses.
And on those rare occurrences wherein a husband actually chooses to leave his mistress, they are rarely ever able to make things last. There is very little chance for a bond to last when it starts out on a foundation of deceit and lying. And that’s exactly what their relationship is all about. It’s just never going to last.
5. She knows that she’s a lot better than me.
This is something that you really shouldn’t believe it. More often than not, she’s going to be incredibly jealous of you. Sure, she’s the one who’s in an affair with your man. She’s the one he sees whenever he goes off to sneak around. But at the end of the day, he’s still going to go home to you.
You are still the woman he’s going to return to. You’re still the woman he is married to. So, she doesn’t think that she’s better than you at all. She still thinks that you are the better woman in his life.