About a month back, my friend came over to tell me about these two dates she just had with Mr. Perfect and Mr. Underestimated, yeah let’s call them that. She couldn’t stop going on about; how sweet Mr. Perfect was, how tall he was and how he had the nicest things to say about her. She said that he told her that he hadn’t had this much fun in days and how he thought that she had the most beautiful eyes. She told me that she really wanted to hear from him again, but he hadn’t called her yet. When I asked her about Mr. Underestimated she told me that he was a good looking guy, they seemed to get along pretty well but he wasn’t as expressive as Mr. Perfect.
When I asked her about Mr. Underestimated in detail, she told me that he held the car door open for her, let her decide what they would eat and had contacted her twice after the date. She was really excited about both the guys but wanted to take it to the next level with Mr. Perfect. A few weeks went by, she contacted Mr. Perfect a couple of times and he was really happy to hear from her whenever she called, but he himself didn’t make any efforts to contact my friend. While Mr. Underestimated kept checking in on her every now and then. My friend is an ape when it comes to relationships; she was having a hard time, and couldn’t understand what these men were looking for.
I sat her down and made her a list of things that would help her understand men psychology better.
1. Words don’t matter but actions do
Men are more practical creatures, whenever I ask my husband to do something for me, he gets up and does it right away or he doesn’t do it at all. It’s as simple as that, it seemed like Mr. Perfect was into my friend with all the sweet talk, but his actions differed. He had nice things to say about her, because it saved him the pain of doing something extra for someone he didn’t want to go on a second date with!
2. Actions speak louder than words
What a man says doesn’t matter until and unless he acts upon it, Mr. Underestimated didn’t have much to say but he did everything right. He let the lady take control, to show her that he respected her decisions; he held the doors open, he held the chair for her at the table and offered to pay first. Honestly, he didn’t have to say anything after all of this. His actions showed that he was definitely looking forward to a second date.
3. Men can’t say no to women
Men have a hard time saying no, to women. When my friend contacted Mr. Perfect, he didn’t want to be rude and had nice meaningful conversations with her because that’s what my friend wanted. These conversations yielded no results, he never contacted her himself!
4. If he likes you he will let you know
If a guy likes you he will let you know here are some pointers.
- He will be chivalrous.
- He will offer you his jacket if it’s cold.
- He will walk you to the door when he drops you off!
- He will offer to pay the bill
- He will not keep you waiting
- He will make plans for the second date him self
- He might drop off a text right away, telling you what a great time he had!
5. If he keeps in touch he is a keeper
If he keeps in touch after the date, he definitely wants to go out with you again and this is exactly what Mr. Underestimated did. Even after my friend didn’t seem bothered to contact him he kept in contact with her and kept letting her know that he was around. Mr. Perfect didn’t contact her even once which implemented to the fact that he just wasn’t interested enough.
Dating is hard and honestly it has no rules to it. Be spontaneous, be who you are and listen when I tell you this; look out for clues and everything will be a lot easier.