You’re in a relationship. You have grown to trust someone completely; and yet, this person still has the gall to betray your trust. You think that you made a mistake by letting your guard down the first time; and you’re determined that you won’t make it so easy for them to hurt you this time. But you know that it’s part of the package. You know that it’s essential for you to actually allow yourself to be vulnerable if you want to be able to make things work in love and relationships. And you know that you still haven’t given up on the relationship that you’re in even though you’re feeling betrayed. So what do you do? How do you move on?
You know you don’t want to let go of your relationship just yet, but you also know that you don’t want to put yourself in such a vulnerable position again. It’s okay for you to be traumatized by a betrayal to the point that you’re hesitant to make yourself vulnerable gain. It’s an understandable response to such an experience. You put so much trust in a person and yet they break that trust by making some very serious mistakes that put your entire relationship in jeopardy. You were made to look like a fool and you’re determined to never look like a fool again. But you also still want to make things work in your relationship.
You’re open to the idea of giving your partner a second chance, but you’re not entirely sure if they’re deserving of winning your trust back at all. The first thing that you have to know is that it’s okay that you are holding back from trusting your partner again. You have to protect yourself before anyone else. You always need to put your own safety ahead of anyone else’s. However, you also have to know that the more withholding you are of your trust, the less likely it will be for you to find depth and meaning in any relationship that you end up in – even in the relationship that you’re already in right now.
You don’t want to deprive yourself of the joy of being in love with someone who loves you in return. And that’s why you always need to allow yourself to be open to the possibility of trusting a person even after that person has betrayed you. But you need to exercise caution. You are taking a chance by trusting someone who has already been proven unworthy of your trust. But it doesn’t have to be a dumb risk. It has to be a calculated one. And if your partner is exhibiting the following signs, then maybe it isn’t such a bad idea for you to trust them again:
1. They swallow their pride and admit their fault in the relationship.
It’s always a good sign whenever your partner actually humbles themselves enough to admit that they were wrong. They have to be able to show remorse and regret for hurting and betraying you. They have to assume responsibility for their actions; and they need to be able to acknowledge their own wrongdoings in the relationship. There is no room for pride or ego when it comes to regaining someone’s broken trust.
2. They make a genuine effort to change their behavior and learn from their faults.
Another great sign is when your partner makes a conscious effort to actually learn and grow from the betrayal. If they make a real effort to change their ways; if they try their best to be better people after the unfortunate incident, then that’s a sign that they have matured enough to a point of understanding that they need to be better partners.
3. They no longer associate themselves with the triggers of the betrayal.
For instance, if your partner betrayed you in the form of infidelity and unfaithfulness, you have to make sure that they show a willingness to cut themselves off from the trigger of their infidelity. They need to cut ties with the person they cheated on you with. It’s bad news if they still maintain relationships with the person they were cheating on you with.
4. You feel like you are both getting closer to one another even after the betrayal.
At the end of the day, if you feel like you’re both still getting closer despite this major hurdle, then maybe it really is a relationship that still has a fighting chance. The fact that you are still able to stay intimate to a certain degree speaks volumes of the strength of your love for one another.
5. You both still generally feel an air of positivity in your relationship.
And lastly, you still have fun together. Yes, they made a mistake. But if you are able to move past that mistake and still enjoy each other’s company, then why not?
