It’s tough, but you’ll get there.
You happen to be in a new relationship with a person you’re deeply in love with. You feel like you’re on top of the world and nothing could possibly bring you down. You feel all of the happiness and elation that comes with a fresh romance. You are completely oblivious to all things negative and toxic because of your rose-colored glasses. And that’s the problem. You might be too caught up with just how in love you are with your partner, you risk blinding yourself from the bad signs that your relationship is really less than ideal.
The fact of the matter is that relationships are inherently difficult. A lot of people to think that it’s all just a matter of being in love and establishing a great rapport with one another. These couples are in for a very rude awakening. It goes so much deeper than that. It’s more than just about having a deep emotional connection with one another. There are many other complex facets that come with sustaining a healthy romantic relationship with someone.
To deal with one specific factor in particular, both people in the relationship must always make it a point to be on the same page as far as their personalities and guiding principles are concerned. There are plenty of people who fall in love with one another only to have their relationships disintegrate just because they weren’t on the same page when addressing fundamental issues. You can’t expect to be totally happy about the road that your relationship is taking if you don’t agree on your destination.
Of course, that isn’t to say that you can’t have a happy and healthy relationship unless you agree on every single thing in the world. It’s okay to have a few differences of opinion here and there. Conflicts are inevitable and it’s always good that you promote your individuality in the relationship. That’s where compromise comes into the equation. Despite whatever differences you might have, you must always find a way to come to resolution so as to promote your smooth coexistence. If you can’t, and you let these unresolved issues linger for a substantial period of time, then you run the risk of self-sabotaging your relationship from the inside without you even knowing it. So it’s important for you and your partner to always make it a point to be on the same page. If you aren’t, then you need to make way for a few adjustments. Here are 5 signs that you and your partner just aren’t on the same page.
1.tYour personal interests make it difficult for you to walk on the same path.
2.tYou find yourself disagreeing on minor and major issues a lot.
3.tYour friends and family have taken notice of the tension in your relationship.
4.tYou find yourselves being defensive around one another.
5.tYou feel your levels of intimacy are diminishing day by day.
How to get on the same page:
It all boils down to basic communication. Raw, unfiltered, open, and honest communication is what you really need as a couple to get yourselves on the right track. You aren’t always going to see things eye to eye in your relationship. You are both going to have to sometimes get down and dirty with your communication game. Sometimes, fear can drive couples to actually disengage with one another when it comes to their conversations. They are afraid that at the end of it all, they are fundamentally different and they might not be able to find some sort of middle ground. But that shouldn’t be a deterrent at all. The only way to really figure out where you both stand in a relationship is if you engage in open dialogue with one another.
In order for you to really get on the same page, you have to be very honest with each other. And at the same time, you have to be receptive and attentive. It can’t all just be about what you want to say or express. You have to be able to put yourself in the shoes of your partner as well. You have to be able to see things from their perspective. That’s what empathy is. You have to be able to climb into their skin and really figure out what’s going on in their mind if you really want to understand one another. Always keep an open mind and really try to figure out how you can help each other. Sometimes, the easiest way to find a resolution is to just really hear each other out. Once you feel like you are in full understanding of one another, then you can start talking about possible compromises that the both of you could make to meet halfway.
It’s very scary to put yourself out there like that, but it’s also necessary. It’s an inherently bad sign already if you find yourself virtually incapable of having a difficult conversation with your partner. That’s separate issue entirely and that’s one that really needs to be addressed. You always have to be able to manage your conflicts effectively and that can only come with uncomfortable conversations.
