Is the commitment mutual?
It’s a sad truth, but it’s one that we’re all just going to have to learn to live with. Sometimes, we can end up in a relationship with someone we’re wholeheartedly in love with; and yet that person doesn’t seem to be able to reciprocate the kind of intensity that your love is bringing to the table. Not to say that your partner doesn’t love you; it’s just that you don’t feel that he loves you as much as you love him.
This kind of emotional imbalance in a relationship can be very upsetting. It can mean that you aren’t operating on the same wavelength as a couple. It might also mean that one side of the relationship will hold all of the emotional power. But how do you know if there is an emotional imbalance in the relationship? How do you know if your partner isn’t trying as hard as you?
It’s essential for you always to know where your partner’s headspace is concerning your relationship. You have to be able to read one another to accurately assess the state of your romantic union. If indeed an imbalance exists, you need to be able to fix that if you want to promote the harmony of your relationship. If you allow this kind of emotional imbalance to persist in a relationship, you are essentially dooming yourself. You can’t be passive about this. You can’t just choose to turn a blind eye. This is an important issue, and it needs to be addressed head-on.
But how do you know for sure if there’s a problem? There are a few signs that you can choose to keep an eye out for. Need some help trying to figure out what those signs are? Say no more. Here are the most common signs that your partner just isn’t as into the relationship as you, and he wouldn’t get married to you.
1. You are the one who does all the planning all the time.
If he doesn’t help you plan fun couple activities like dates and vacations, you can most likely bet that he’s not interested in the relationship. He’s not interested in preserving whatever flame the two of you might have sparked early in the romance. He doesn’t feel the pressure to sustain the emotional bond that you share. You’re the one who has to pick up the slack and fight for the both of you.
2. He refuses to talk about his plans for the future actively.
He rarely ever discusses his plans with you unless you ask him about it. And even then, he still acts reluctantly. It’s as if there is this whole other life that he knows, and he doesn’t want you to be a part of it. You try so hard to be a big part of his world, but it feels like he’s not interested in having you in it. If he were genuinely interested in you, he would be trying his best to make sure that you fit into his picture of the future.
3. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends and family.
Friends and family are always important. If you get into a relationship with a person, you choose to gradually share your whole life with that person. But if he’s not introducing you to his friends and family, it probably means that he’s not as invested in bringing you into his life as you are. He’s not so keen on letting you in no matter how much you want it. He doesn’t want to give you full access just yet, and there’s a possibility that he might not ever.
4. He doesn’t ask you much about yourself.
A person who is genuinely in love with you would always want to know every single thing there is to know about you. He would ask you about the things that you are most passionate about. He would ask you about your biggest dreams and goals. He would ask you about your feelings and your emotions on a consistent basis. But if he doesn’t express much interest in you, well then that’s a telltale sign that he’s not very interested in this relationship either.
5. He acts very nonchalant and detached about the problems in your relationship.
You are the only one who seems to be the fixer of all the problems in the relationship. You are the one who wants to talk everything out. You are the one who wants to bring up the elephant in the room all the time. But he’s just there, sitting idly by, watching as your relationship passes before his very eyes. He doesn’t really keep an eye out for points of improvement in the relationship because he doesn’t care as much as you do.
Talk to me
Have you been in this position before? Talk to me in the comments below!
My boyfriend is almost everything single one of these!
Run hunney. Find yourself. Love yourself and the right one will appear at the right time.
My boyfriend is did all this 5 things what should I do please?
If this was me… I wouldn’t be with him. Don’t lose yourself trying to make things work with someone that isn’t putting in as much effort! You deserve someone that matches your energy (effort) if you allow certain behaviors, they will continue. Don’t ever settle for less than what you truly want in someone bc sooner or later when you least expect it.. you’ll meet them and he will treat you like a queen❤️
I would definitely not be wasting my time on this human. There will be someone out there who will treasure you.
2, 3 and 5 it means he don’t want to marry me?
If you’ve only just met then don’t worry too much. If it’s been a year then I’d definitely walk away.
Dated this guy 2+ years. Never been to his house, met his kids or family. Says he loves me and gives me whatever I want but says he NEVER wants to get married again. So I left him but, he won’t stop contacting me.
Good for you! Don’t let him come back. He is a user and a loser! I question if he is really divorced. I’ll bet he’s not.
same here, all of them
We have been engaged for almost 8 years. His mom & sisters doesn’t approved us being together. We have an arguments all the time.
My ex was all this. But was his family and I kinda knew his friends. I gave mine up for him and my kids. I separated once and got a job and he seemed to snap out of it. Got back together and he got angry and drunk on his sisters wedding night and he hit/ strangled me. Broke my hand too. He’s not touched me since and I can tell after 9 mths that he still doesn’t know what he’s done to me or the kids. 3 outta 5 of us have anxiety attacks. If they won’t talk to you then get out. Nothing will change.
We together 9years. We are both divorced. Another one to add to these points is :he never says he loves me. I must always say it first and then ask him if he does love me. I think I truly hope so much that he loves me that I believe it now. Although he never shows it physically. However he makes me coffee in bed and helps around the house sometimes. We never goes away on a romantic trip or date. I knows his family and children and he knows nine. But he still has contact daily with his ex wife.
Men who are like that, want their cake and eat it too. It means they are comfortable with the relationship with no commitments. When a woman is so head over heels and goes along with this will only cause, deep regrets and resentment that will eventually tear up the relationship. The real sad news, is that if the woman waits too long in life, she will never get the chance to have her own children and will be left alone in her older years.
Janet, please walk away from him. He’s wasting your time and energy!
I promise to you that when you least expect it, a true gentleman will step up into your life and love you unconditionally!
I had this occur with me. It is fantastic! ❤️
He has already said that he wont marry but im unable to move on… He wants an uncommitted relation for life. Im drained but can’t let go of my attachment for him. 😞