We have seen it in movies, read it in books, and yet our concept of infidelity seems to be stuck with men cheating on their wives and girlfriends. What we fail to understand is that women are as capable of lying and cheating to their boyfriends and spouses as men are. Infidelity and cheating in any relationship signals a fracture of the mutual trust and understanding that the relationship was based on.
Men who have to deal with the problem of cheating in a relationship tend to be insecure and shattered by the circumstances. Most of them do not even recognize the signs of a cheater, till the ugly truth slaps them in face. However, sometimes even a gut feeling is enough to warn you of the infidelity and cheating in the relationship with your girlfriend. Here is a look at some relationship advice, cheating signs, and tips on how to deal with the problem.
1. She seems distracted and preoccupied in your relationship.
It’s as if she isn’t really around whenever you’re together. Sure, she’s right there in front of you in a physical manner. But you’ve definitely lost her on an emotional level. You are no longer the person she is devoting all of her time and attention to. She is preoccupied. She is stuck in some kind of fantasy land. And chances are that her fantasies no longer include you. You are no longer the center of her universe because someone else has managed to captivate her. Someone else has grabbed hold of her attention.
2. She puts a renewed effort into how she looks.
She’s obviously trying to make herself look good for someone; and chances are, it isn’t you. You’ve already reached a point in your relationship where you are both beyond shallow physical attractions. Your connection should go much deeper than that. And you both know it would be pointless to shift your style up drastically for one another. And yet, here she is making herself look really pretty – and it’s not for you.
3. She has changed phone and internet habits.
She is on her phone even during your usual sleeping hours. She’s on her laptop really late at night. Whenever she gets an unexpected phone call, she always steps out of the room even though she used to just answer them around you in the past. These may be some very subtle signs; but you’re really going to have to pay attention to them.
4. She mentions one particular guy a lot.
It’s a good thing that you give her the freedom that she deserves in life. You never want to be overly controlling and possessive. You never want her to feel like you are excessively territorial to the point that you start to dictate who she gets to be spending her time with. However, there is a cause for concern whenever she starts mentioning the name of a particular guy a lot. She might be developing feelings for him; and she might even already be acting on them. While you don’t necessarily want to play the role of paranoid boyfriend, you also don’t want to be acting a fool in your own relationship.
5. She has trouble getting intimate with you
You’ve practically lost that connection that used to be there in your relationship. The emotional bond between the two of you has been tarnished. You aren’t really able to connect with one another on an intimate basis because she is refusing to do so. She doesn’t really feel interested in connecting with you anymore because she’s no longer invested in making things work between the two of you. To her, your relationship has an expiration date; and she’s slowly checking herself out of it.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT:
1. Get your facts straight.
Make sure that she’s cheating on you before you confront her about it. If you’re just randomly accusing her even though you don’t have the evidence, you risk looking like some paranoid fool. You don’t want that. Before you broach the topic with her, make sure that you know exactly what you’re talking about.
2. Take the time to really talk to her.
And don’t be so quick to make a decision right away. Take the time to talk to her first. See things from her point of view. Get her side of the story. She how she’s going to react to you finding out about her infidelity and unfaithfulness. You can’t be so rash. Remember that there is a proper time and place for everything.
3. Decide how what you want to do about your relationship.
And now that you have all of the information that you need; now that you’ve had a deep and intimate talk to your partner about the situation, you can now make a decision. You now hold the fate of your relationship in your hands. And make sure you own up to whatever decision you’re going to make.
Talk to me
Have you been cheated on? Talk to me in the comments below!
My girlfriend with whom I had been in a relationship for 3 years, lied to me for 3 months about the fact that she has been going out with a guy. I knew that guy, and I knew they were close friends. But I never liked him, in fact every single person knew that he is kind of a playboy type of guy. I even had been with him for many occasions and I also can tell the same. He loves to cheat on his girlfriend and also people. So I told my girlfriend that, It’s ok that he’s a friend but don’t let him come closer that. As a boyfriend I never wanted to be possessive or too corny towards her. I wanted her to breath freely around me. But then things started to go some other way, she started to hide the fact that she had been talking to him. They even started talking late at night. I couldn’t find any answer, i always tried to be as much supportive to her as possible whenever she was struggling with something. Yet she decided to get his support rather than mine. They even went out to eat and she didn’t even tell me. So oneday called her and heard his voice beside her and went to restaurant only to find out that she was on a table with him. Me and her had a fight. She apologise and said sorry. So i forgave her. Then few days later i again discovered they went to another restaurant. I had a quarreled again. She said he only was helping with her studies. It was unbelievabl, yet i believed. Then i don’tknow how but he got along with her mother and got even further closer to my girlfriend. It was at this point when i decided that I will tell her, that either It’s me or him that she had to choose. And she choose me and told me won’t talk to him. But guess what, she talked to him again, and eventually he proposed her. So she came to me and said wgat happened and that I was right about him. She told me that rejected him and will never talk to him again. So this time, for the last time I forgave her. I wanted her to realise her mistakes. This whole time she ignored whatever truth i told her about him and instead only convinced me that he is only her bestfriend and nothing else. That he emotionally supported him very much. But i was wondering to myself, am I not doing enough then? So yes, i gave her another chance. So almost 3 months had passed. But in that time every now and then I starded seeing her number and her facebook chathead on that guys facebook stories. So I asked her showing those, if she had been contacting with him again, she denied. She even cried and told me that she doesn’t know anything about it and she did not talk to him again. So i trusted her and thought he is just doing those to tease me. But then the inevitable happened. I went out of town for a while and called her oneday and heard his voice beside her again. So this time I had to ask her straight up and I also talked with that guy that why he is still talking to my girlfriend. He replied, “Why is your girlfriend still talking to me then.” What do I have to say after that? So she again denied the fact she didn’t go out with, they don’t talk still. I came back to town and oneday I invited her to our house. She comes to our house even by herself every now and then. There were some guests at our house that day and everybody knew that we were in love and wanted to get married in future. We were having a good time. But at a point she went to the other room but she forgot her phone which was beside me. I don’t know why even though I didn’t usually check her chatlist but that day I thought I thought I should check and yes, I found even what my own eyes should not have believed. I found hundreds of pictures of him and her in their chat and she even texted him before coming to our house. And she hid the chat in achieve, so that no one could see. I found out, each time I had a doubt that she is out with him, she actually was. They even went out to a bar and drink, she got drunk and he recorded her while she was drunk in the car. There were hundreds of selfies and some videos of them which i could not belive with my own eyes. So yes, I busted out. I could not hold on anymore. I started screaming and shouting at her and ask for answers. She had been lying to me for 3 MONTHS. And i decided to break up. But she was still claiming that he is just a friend to him and that she is sorry for what she did. As much i wanted answers from her that why she has been lying to me for so long. And she just said she did it because she thought he is a good person and i had misconception about him. I lost it. The pieces were not even fitting in the places. I loved her with my whole heart, but she decided to cheat and lie to me. I was devastated. I said it was over. But she was dying to talk to me and apologise. So after almost 7-8 days i decided to meet her and talk. She apologised and I eventually forgave her again. She promised me she will never talk to him again. But guess what, she talked to him for 4 months more again. She got caught by me for 2 times more in this time. So yes I broke up with her again. Then she apologised and cried and apologised again and wannted me to know that she loves me very much. So she finally stopped taliking with him in August 2019. We got together again (foolishly). But ever since nothinghas been the same. I cannot trust her a bit, even though she has given me her passwords and promised me to never cheat again. We even had been sexually intimate for some time too. But the feelings and trust from my side is very had for me to give her. I don’t trust any word she says, although i still sometimes think i love her. But it hurts a lot. It had been almost a year since all these happened. We had been still together too. But in this time, she also sometimes acts like she has done nothing in the past and just straight up throws her demands and orders towards me. Although she doesn’t want my money or anythin, her father has enough money. But it seems i can’t her no matter how much she claims she has changed, she still talks to any unknown guy and it makes me mad and sick. I wen’t from a peaceloving person to kind of chaos. We quarrel a lot nowadays. The love comes and goes. She cries and tells me that she’s sorry for what she has done, my emotional side gets melted and forgivesher for moment. But my heart aches still for what she had done to me. I don’t even know if I love her or do I hate her. Maybe I do both. I tell her what she had done to me every time i get mad. And now she tells me that she’s sick of hearing all those things. But why? She has done those to me, why does she get sickand angry to hear it? I don’t know. I feel like she doesn’t actually understand what I’mgoing through. I feel very betrayed and i feel like my heart got broken into pieces. She doesn’t want to let me go and tells me how madly she wants to get married to me. But i don’t know if I should marry her or not. Sometimes i want to break up with her but her apologies and the fact that we’ve been together for so long (4 years) stops me. But feel very bad sometimes how things turned out to be and just break up with her and make my kife beautiful again. But i don’t know still if i should do it or not. I never wanted this. I wanted to get married to her. But I feel cheated and I’m afraid what might happen next after marriage. Should I break up with her?