There are loads of dysfunctional relationships everywhere in this world. And it would be foolish to think that love would be enough to make up for the many problems that come with being in a dysfunctional relationship. You can fall in love with someone and put so much effort into your relationship and still fall short. That’s a very real possibility that you’re just going to have to learn to accept. No amount of love or effort are ever going to be able to make up for severe dysfunctionality in a relationship.
Of course, that isn’t to say that you can’t have dysfunctional aspects to a healthy relationship. ALL relationships are imperfect in some sense. But it all boils down on how much you’re going to be able to tolerate as a couple. When you find that the dysfunctionality in your relationship is already destroying your lives together, then it’s probably best to just walk away. You need to be humble and brace enough to confront the truth when it’s staring you right in the face. You can’t force yourself to stay in a dysfunctional relationship if it is only wreaking havoc on your life.
You have to recognize that when a relationship is actually taking away from the value of your life, you need to be able to cut yourself loose from it for your own sake. A lot of people will make the mistake of thinking that they can stay in dysfunctional relationships and try to make things work with their effort and their compassion. But that isn’t always the case. There are many variables that go into making relationships work; and it’s not just about how much you love a person. That’s an oversimplified view of love; and a lot of the time, it’s only the inexperienced and the naïve who believe in it.
You have to be mature enough to understand the many different facets that go into establishing a healthy and stable relationship with someone. And a lot of that has to do with compatibility. Your relationship needs to act like a well-oiled machine; and when there is just far too much dysfunction, it’s just going to end up causing you more pain in the long run. So, the key is always in being able to recognize when you happen to be stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. You need to be able to recognize that you are in a relationship that just isn’t worth saving anymore;
and you need to be strong enough to walk away from it. You can’t be so hardheaded and stubborn. You can’t force yourself to stay in a relationship that just isn’t meant for you. That’s just self-damaging and you are only depriving yourself of the opportunity to really pursue the love that you are genuinely deserving of. So, the moment that you recognize you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you need to develop the resolve to just walk away from it. Here are a few signs that you might be stuck in a dysfunctional relationship and that you seriously need to be doing something about it.
1. You have a lot of recycled arguments.
You can’t seem to come to a resolution on some very basic issues and spats. You are so dysfunctional that it’s practically impossible for you to see eye to eye on a number of fundamental things. And you can only get so far in your relationship if you keep arguing about the same things over and over again without an end in sight.
2. Your partner is always blaming you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
You are always the scapegoat. You are in a relationship with someone who isn’t mature enough to assume responsibility in the relationship. You are always the one who is to blame. Somehow, everything that goes wrong in your relationship is always your fault. You are always the one who has to be owning up to everything.
3. You find yourself apologizing for things you shouldn’t even be sorry for.
Because you have been taught to believe that you are always at fault, you are constantly apologizing. You are always saying sorry for things that you shouldn’t even have to be apologetic about; things that aren’t even your fault.
4. You have a partner who is always angry at even the slightest things.
There is really more anger than there is love in your relationship – and that’s always a bad recipe for a healthy relationship.
5. You have a depreciated sense of self-worth in your life because of your relationship.
Sometimes, being in a toxic relationship can often brainwash you into thinking that you aren’t exactly deserving of all the best things that life may have to offer. It can lead you to think that you are a low-life; that you aren’t deserving of the love that you want for yourself. And that’s why you just end up settling for this dysfunctional relationship with a toxic human being who doesn’t really add value to your life in any capacity.