Mothers are usually seen as the ones who love and take care of us. They’re like our guides in life. But not all moms are the same, and some can be really harmful. Toxic moms can act in different bad ways, like being too controlling or not caring enough. Some may mean well but don’t show it in a good way, making things tough for their kids. Moms have many roles, and sometimes they follow what they think they should do or what others expect from them.
Sometimes, a mom’s own bad experiences growing up can make her act in harmful ways, and this can affect her children too. But, if you learn to recognize the signs of a toxic mom, you can stop the cycle and keep yourself and your kids safe.
Here are five typical signs that you grew up with a toxic mom:
1. You often feel guilty or ashamed of yourself
A big sign of having a toxic mom is feeling like you did something wrong all the time. Toxic moms often make their kids feel this way to control them. They might say mean things or compare their children to others, making them think they’re not good enough. This can make you carry those bad feelings into adulthood. If you always feel guilty or ashamed, remember it’s not your fault, and it’s okay to ask for help to stop feeling this way.
2. You struggle with setting boundaries
Another usual sign of having a toxic mom is finding it hard to set limits. Toxic moms often want to control everything in their kids’ lives, not giving them space to be independent. This can make it tough for their children to say “no” or express their own needs. So, if you were raised by a toxic mom, you might struggle with this. It’s vital to know that setting boundaries is important, and you can seek help to learn how to do it in a healthy way.
3. You feel like you need to be perfect to be loved
Thinking you have to be absolutely perfect to be loved is another sign of having a toxic mom. Toxic moms often expect their kids to be perfect at everything, which can make you feel like you’re never good enough. You might believe that love and approval only come when you’re perfect, causing you to stress out about being flawless. But it’s important to know that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes.
4. You have a hard time expressing your emotions
If you find it really hard to talk about your feelings, it could be a sign of having a toxic mom. Toxic moms often don’t want their kids to show their emotions, so you might have learned to keep them inside. This can make it tough to deal with your feelings as you grow up. You might have trouble trusting people or forming close bonds, and sometimes you feel like you don’t understand your own emotions. It’s okay to get help from a mental health expert to learn how to handle your feelings in a healthy way.
5. You feel like you’re never enough
Feeling like you’re never good enough can happen if you had a toxic mom. A toxic mom might have been very critical, controlling, or hurtful, which can make you feel like you’re not worthy and full of self-doubt. Children of toxic moms often believe these negative things they hear and struggle with low self-esteem. But it’s important to know that these feelings don’t define your true worth; they’re because of your tough upbringing.
Can you relate to any of these experiences? We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories.
