How many times in life have you got exactly what you have wished for or have struggled for? And how many times have you complained about not getting exactly that? Or fallen into self-pity? Or compromise on your happiness? Or have you thought that it’s too late to try to be happy again? Instead of giving a shot at life again, how many times have you accepted your fate and have lived unhappily ever after through it? Some relationships are like that, a whirlwind of emotions, tainted with a blind optimism that ultimately leads them to even blinder ends.
For example, you have been together for over a year now and the absence of the same spark, that had once brought you together, is now drifting you apart. Days seem longer. Talks have gotten dull. Sex is still amazing but it’s more physical than emotional now. You had gotten off on an edgy start but it was fast and deep with a whirlwind of feelings that had you blinded to all the red flags on the way, and the relationship continued and along with it continued your ignorance and now you have come this far, have struggled to could yourself and now it seems mandatory to keep stretching the relationship.
You tried to change your partner’s views, habits, and ideas about certain issues, and only because you have put too much of yourself in the relationship now you don’t want to risk ending it. You have lost vision of the fact that it doesn’t have to be this way just because it has always been and that you deserve better. Do not ignore the red signals on the way to your supposedly forever lasting relation, which ultimately makes it is too late to revert. Nothing is worth the compromise of your happiness. Do not give it your all if you know it in yourself that things are ultimately going to tumble down into the heap of a not-so-worth-it-relationship.
Dragging on an unworthy relationship will end up with you having been influenced by a lot of negativity and it will alter your way of the world and of yourself, in a not so friendly manner.
5 of the major red flags and alarms to look out for in a relationship that proves it unworthy are:
1. The not-so-nice change in the initial emotional connection:
In an unreliable relationship, there is always this point to look out for where you realize that in all the time that you were together, you never really had an actual emotional connection, rather it was just momentary attraction or the heat of the moment that was doing all the past magic. In every long-lasting and worthy-of-keeping relationship, there is this definite moment of surety where you realize that this is a keeper and that is what solidifies the fort of the relationship. For some of you, it can be a little distance or a rough patch where you open yourself to embrace the fact that the other person is truly and actually madly in love with you and is ready to cross any physical or emotional barrier for you.
This moment of clarity is the reality of every strong relationship and even if after a long wait, desperate efforts, and pleas, it does not happen to you, then you should know that it is a walk-away-from-the-relationship sign. Sometimes, it is some emotional damage on one of the partner’s part, sometimes, it is the lack of trust or understanding that does not allow the emotional spark to happen and let the partners fully open up to each other. Such a case leads to a dynamite effect where friction causes a spark and relationship tumbles down leaving itchy emotional scarring for the rest of your life. So, make sure you call it quits before it reaches that chaotic stage with no going back to a new healthy emotional beginning.
2. You have stopped communicating with each other:
You might feel like your partner has a completely detached life, the one that is a secret to you, or that they have drifted out of your emotional reach. It can come to you in any form, but the fact that it does come is an alarm for something being severely off in your relationship. You may seem like a great couple from the outside, getting envied by strangers who see you together in public but the reality shows that it is not the magic of your love that is showing off but the persona of your individually witty personalities living off of each other.
If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then it surely isn’t deeper than the surface. So do not let yourself be forced into carrying out your relationships like a responsibility or an obligation that needs to be fulfilled because in the end, if you are not happy inside then none of it is worth it. Listen to your intuitions.
3. The mandatory feeling of crossing levels instead of naturally coming milestones in the relationship:
Couples base the stability and strength of their relationships on calendars and use the time spent together as the measure of the worth of their relationship. Decisions such as sharing a bed, moving in together, adopting a pet, jointly getting house renovations done, getting engaged are not really the next steps in a relationship if they are not coming to you naturally but are being carried out based on the time passed since your first date and because it fits accurately into the logical sequence of things, then I’m sorry but it isn’t really worth your while.
People take such elephantine steps all the time long before they’re even ready, emotionally and instinctively. And hence such an approach reduces what were supposed to be beautiful levels of the relationship to meet obligations carried out in the pursuit of logic rather than love. Baseless actions won’t do any good to your dying relationship. Moving in together won’t turn the wilting flower into a blossoming tulip or an engagement won’t bring back the lost spark. If anything, it will only make things more difficult and suffocate you emotionally and physically.
Do not be impulsive or carry out big decisions as a guarantee of your relationship being saved from a dark future.В A relationship requires a true foundation to begin with, the sort that is based on more than just mere tags and labels. If the relation is already a house of cards, then you cannot expect to put furniture in it and assume that it will bear the weight. It will fall. It is only the question of when.В So pull out from it all the weights before it is too late and you get crushed under its fallen roof.
4. The settling in of loneliness, even when you are with your supposed right one:
Do you have nights when you silently cry yourself to sleep even when your partner is sleeping right beside you? Do you feel an emptiness inside of you even when you are resting on your partner’s shoulder? Do your words fall silent on your lips just before you were about to share something with your partner? If yes, then it’s high time that you run straight out of that relationship because it doesn’t have to be so after you have invested so much in it.
If you feel uncomfortable or hesitant in opening up to your partner or you don’t get the warm comfortable vibes from them, then they are definitely not the ones. A true relationship is innovative. With new moments, new talks, new interests and it is not co centered on repeating the same old problems and arguments for their solutions again and again. Such a case should be a red alert for anyone to know that the relationship is heading straight towards its doom and that it is better to leave while the going is good because, after some time, the needle in the heart might turn into a full-fledged dagger.
5. The lack of mutual respect:
Respect is definitely the most important pillar of a relationship. It is as mandatory, or maybe even more than love. Respect for your partner’s existence, ideas, needs, battles, struggles, and wants is a must. Otherwise, the relationship is as worthless as anything and should be called quits on as soon as possible. No person in a relationship should have to struggle for having a say in the relationship or should have to fight for their supposed “better halves” to listen to them and appreciate their concepts and ideas. If you feel like your opinion, ideas and stance are getting belittled, you better run out of the relationship as soon as possible because your dignity is on fire here and before it turns into ashes,
you better take your leave and send a hearty goodbye to the disrespectful relationship. If you feel like you can totally relate to even one of the above points, then you definitely need to double-check your stand and reconsider your choices and reevaluate the direction in which your life is heading. Don’t stay because you have to. Stay only because you want to. No matter how good the sex is, or how obligated you feel to keep dragging the dying relation or whatever other lame reasons you might put up in the defense of your choice to stay, they are not good enoughВ reasons to belittle yourself and compromise your respect, dignity, and happiness.
Have faith. Know that there are alternate choices for you and that there is so much else out there yet to be explored. There is always a way out of something that is not meant to be.
Learn and move on. Give your life another shot. It is never too late to seek happiness. Pushing things won’t make them last, only their worth will. You will evolve, grow out of your shell and develop a way out with a stronger sense of direction in life along with a clearer vision of what you want in life.
You deserve better than tolerance. You deserve to live and not just survive. Don’t let something that doesn’t count hold you back from taking the reins of your life in your hands and galloping towards a better end.
Seek love, not entrapment. Seek life and not survival. Know your worth and be wise while taking your relationship a step further.
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Are you experiencing these signs? Have you thought of escaping from your relationship? Please letВ me know in the comments below!