You have to know that even the strongest and healthiest relationships out there are going to have to go through their fair share of difficulties as well. That’s just a permanent fixture in relationships in general. That is why it is absolutely essential for you and your partner to strike a balance in your relationship. You are going to want to generate as little friction as possible in your relationships if you want them to survive. You are going to need to have a strong communicate game going on to help you get through all of the rough patches. And none of this is ever going to work if you don’t have a partner who is going to be just as committed as you are to saving and preserving this relationship.
You need to have a real PARTNER who you can rely on to help pick up the slack in the relationship. You need to be with someone who you can consider to be a real teammate; someone who you know is in this just as much as you are. You need someone who works hand in hand with you in giving maximum effort to this relationship. If that’s not the case for you; if you are with someone who you feel like isn’t stepping up to the plate in the relationship, then it’s likely that you aren’t going to be able to make things work out. If you aren’t giving an equal amount of effort into the relationship, then that may be an indicator for the incompatibility between the two of you. And that’s never a good sign
The truth is that there are typically just two types of people in a relationship. First, there is the person who is ALWAYS showing up and delivering for the relationship. And then there is the one who is just there coasting along and enjoying the ride. A successful relationship is always going to require TWO individuals who are constantly delivering and showing up for the relationship. It only takes one of the latter types of person to destroy and compromise the integrity of the relationship as a whole.
Ideally, in a healthy relationship, there should always be a 50-50 dynamic going on. It should always be a balanced and equal attack. It should be two people who are giving just as much as they’re taking from the relationship. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a 1:1 kind of dynamic either. One person can do the heavy lifting in one aspect of the relationship while the partner can do compensate in another aspect.
1. You always feel anxious about the relationship.
2. You overthink and over-analyze everything in the relationship.
3. You don’t feel acknowledged and appreciated despite your hard work.
4. You are the only one who is initiating communication in the relationship.
5. You are the one who always adjusts your schedule to accommodate your partner.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD
If a lot of the signs here actually apply to you and your relationship, then it’s time for you to come face to face with the truth. You need to start coming to terms with reality. Your relationship is a sham and it’s either you need to initiate some kind of drastic change or you walk away from it entirely. You are lost and you don’t necessarily know what to do. But the first REAL thing that you have to do is to talk to your partner and open up about what you’re heart is feeling.
And when you do this, make sure that you don’t assume a combative or confrontational tone. You don’t want your partner to feel like you’re blaming and accusing them of everything that is wrong with the relationship. Just be honest and open up about how you’re feeling on a personal and introspective manner. And as you’re talking about your feelings, make sure to pay attention to how your partner is receiving it all and reacting to everything that you’re saying.
You can really tell a lot about what options you have based on how your partner is going to respond to the things that you’re talking about. If your partner actually seems interested in what you’re saying, then that might be a sign that you have some potential to work with here. But if your partner is just scoffing and denying your feelings as if they are invalid, then that’s definitely not a good sign for the future of your relationship.
And you most definitely don’t deserve that. You deserve to be with someone who acknowledges your feelings. You need to be with someone who validates your efforts. You need to have a genuine partner who works with you for the sake of this relationship.
