Has anyone ever had a “healthy” breakup?
It happens. Breakups are normal. We develop a romantic interest for someone, we fall in love with them, and then over time, that interest has the potential to eventually fade away. And when that happens, a breakup is most likely to be inevitable at this point.
But the problem remains that while romantic connections do diminish between dysfunctional couples over time, it’s still very difficult for a lot of people to actually gather up the nerve to initiate a breakup which is perfectly understandable. Breakups are awful. They’re awkward and they’re messy and peoples’ feelings get hurt. No one wants to have to deal with all of the negative emotions that come with a breakup at all.
That’s why a lot of individuals tend to remain in relationships that are toxic or sad because they don’t want to have to face all the emotional turmoil that comes with breakups. They feign commitment and emotional investment in the relationship, even though in their hearts, they’re practically out of it. They feel terrible on the inside but they can’t act on their emotions and so they keep everything bottled up inside. But this ends up being counterproductive to one’s intentions to keep their partner from getting hurt and feeling awkward. Because eventually, the truth is going to reveal itself ever so subtly and the pain is going to gradually build up inside. So instead of just mustering up the courage to break things off cleanly, it happens to become a slow and agonizing demise; a prolonging of the inevitable suffering.
It’s just really hard to fall out of love and not know what to do about your feelings. It’s always a slippery slope and it would be foolish and rash to just haste into things without thinking. But on the other hand, inaction and passivity is just as toxic to the relationship. All of the emotional buildup can’t be healthy at all and eventually, all of those negative feelings are going to find a way out of your system. You are going to start to lash out and act out of character. You are going to end up behaving in ways that you wouldn’t necessarily be proud of and it’s all a result of you not wanting to address your true feelings. Instead of just tackling the problem head on, you will be passive aggressive in your behavior and it’s not going to get you anywhere. You will just keep on feeling all of those negative emotions but it’s not going to be productive for you at all. You will be leading your partner on a string to nowhere and that’s just plain unfair. It’s childish behavior and you and your partner really need to hash things out if you want something productive to come out of your failed relationship. Otherwise, it’s just going to be a lot of toxicity and bad feelings between the both of you. You need to be able to come to a sense of closure together if you really want to be okay as you move on with your individual lives. The longer you let things drag out, the more difficult it will be for you to have a healthy breakup. You will end up tarnishing both of your perspectives and hopes about love and no one is going to win from that situation at all.
And another common mistake that you shouldn’t ever make is to perform your breakup impersonally. When you break up with your partner, do so with strength. Have the bravery and courage to actually face your partner and call it quits. Don’t resort to merely using your phone or your laptop to send virtual messages. That’s cowardly and immature. Remember that at one point, you were in love with one another, and your partner is deserving of a more personal touch to end the relationship.
To help you with the breakup, just follow this guide. Here are 5 concrete steps that you can take to actually help you have a healthy breakup with your partner. You just have to be brave about it and sincere in your sentiments.
1.tSchedule the actual breakup. Set a date with you and your partner to have a serious talk about the state of your relationship.
2.tBe honest in your conversation and just try your best to get your partner to understand where you’re coming from and what led you to come to this decision. Be sensitive and be mindful to not come off as too harsh.
3.tBe sure to tell your partner that you are grateful for everything despite how things turned out.
4.tMake your partner feel like you are ready to answer any questions or entertain any sentiments they might want to express to you.
5.tSet boundaries for the breakup. Make rules. And ask for respect.
Healthy breakups are difficult but they’re not impossible. You just really have to have maturity, tact, and courage to really confront how you feel.
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Have you had a healthy breakup? Talk to me in the comments below!
