The world already knows at this point that all breakups are going to be difficult. Breakups are just downright devastating; and they can really wreak havoc on a person’s emotional state of being. You so desperately want o find love for yourself; and you know that part of falling in love means you having to take a risk. Falling in love means you opening yourself up to another person; opening yourself up to getting hurt. And that’s the risk that you run with falling in love; and if you’re smart, you try to prepare yourself for it. You brace for the pain because you know that there is always the possibility that things aren’t going to work out for your favor after all. And when love turns sour, no amount of preparation or bracing in the world is going to be able to keep the pain from hitting you hard when it does.
And there’s a reason why a breakup can hurt so hard. When you fall in love, you really want to invest yourself in that love. You are told that love will never work unless you put all of your effort into it. You are told that you really need to focus on making your love work if you want to have a fighting chance. You are told that you need to persevere through all of the adversity so that you are able to make things work between the two of you. And so, that’s exactly what you do. You really dive into the relationship. You invest all of yourself into it. You are all-in. You push all of your bets to the center of the table. And yet, you still fall short. It crushes you.
You realize that love and good intentions aren’t enough to sustain a relationship. Sometimes, even when your intentions are pure and you do everything you can to make a love work, it still doesn’t turn out the way that you want it to. And while that may be a general truth at this point, it’s still a hard one to swallow. It’s almost unfair. But that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes; and you really just have to be able to suck it up and accept the pain.
However, that is easier said than done. Getting over a breakup is never an easy feat. It’s not like any insignificant event that might take over your life; something that you can just turn away from and be okay with. It can take a long while before you can be okay with accepting your newfound life as a single person; as someone who is outside of a relationship. And the first thing that you have to know is that it’s okay to feel terrible. You shouldn’t think that anyone is going to expect you to be okay right away with the whole situation that you’ve found yourself in. However, you shouldn’t take that as an excuse for you to slack off in the process of getting over. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be trying your hardest to heal and move on to building a better life for yourself. You still have to keep your eyes forward. You need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And in the face of all that adversity, you might want to keep in mind these 5 things in particular.
1. The pain that you feel from the breakup is not invalid.
Allow yourself to feel that pain that you’re feeling right now. Don’t ignore it. Don’t suppress it. Don’t make it seem like you’re just overreacting. You’re hurt. And the pain that you feel is perfectly justified.
2. You are always worthy of love.
Just because love didn’t work for you this time around doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to work for you in the future. You always need to be able to believe that you are worthy of love.
3. There’s no shame in starting from scratch again.
IF you want to get back up on that horse, you might need to start from scratch. And that’s okay. You’re going to have to go through the whole relationship process again; and that isn’t something that should be turning you off to the idea of falling in love.
4. You don’t have to rush into filling that void.
You have experienced substantial loss; and you might want to fill that void with something else right away. And that’s fine; but you shouldn’t force the issue. Don’t force anything.
5. Make sure to continue to love yourself.
Just because your love life didn’t work out in the ways that you wanted it to doesn’t mean that you should stop loving yourself. In fact, it is during this time wherein you really need to double down on loving yourself. You need to be able to prove to yourself and to the world around you that there are many facets of your personality that are worth falling in love with.