Avoid the first date horrors.
First dates are always high-pressure situations especially for those who are socially awkward. For those of us who aren’t gifted with natural charm, charisma, or energy, social situations tend to get the better of us a lot. And that’s especially true on first dates when the stakes are just so high. There’s no denying the significance of a first date on a relationship. The first date is the initial meeting it’s the only chance that two people get at having a good first impression. The first date is where two individuals get to gauge if they’re really cut out for one another if they have the potential to actually be something special in the future. There’s a lot riding on the first date and it’s fair to say that a bad first date is likely to result in the nonexistence of a second date.
One big aspect of having a good first date with someone is ensuring quality communication. At the base of it all, the quality of communication can either make or break a long-term relationship. It should be no different with people who are just meeting for a very first time. When two people just hit it off when they’re talking to one another, there is an obvious emotional spark and connection between the two of them. However, when the conversation turns awkward and slightly out of place, then that could spell potential trouble for the chemistry between two people.
Remember, a lot of us are going to be socially awkward; and carrying a conversation isn’t necessarily going to be our strongest suit. But we have to realize that that is a weakness that we’re going to have to work on especially if we want things to work out with a particular person. Not every moment of the first date is always going to be smooth and without its hitches. You are going to have to force some things to make sure that you can salvage some potential train wrecks in your communication. To improve your chances at having a successful first date with someone is to go into it prepared. You can’t go into war without your artillery. You can’t go to an exam without your pen.
You need to properly prepare for your date to make sure that you are equipped to handle any probable hitches that might occur when you’re talking to one another. It is highly likely that when you’re talking to one another (and since you don’t know each other too well), you are going to have occasional lulls in conversation. This is where you are going to have to step up. Have some few key questions ready in your back pocket.
These are questions that you can bring out whenever you feel like the discussion is getting a little stale. Use these questions to help keep the conversation flowing and you are sure to come off as someone who is charismatic, friendly, and easy to be with. Here are a few key questions that you could ask your date to keep the conversation going.
1. Are you feeling nervous right now?
Sometimes, the most effective way to defuse the nerves in a situation is to acknowledge their presence. Things can get a little tense on the first date especially if the both of you are nervous. But if you both actually admit that you’re being nervous, then that can help alleviate the situation and break the ice a little bit.
2. How often do you go out on dates?
This is an interesting question to ask your first date because it will be able to give you an idea of their dating situation. You can then also share about what your dating situation is like. With this conversation, you can both get a better read of one another and your expectations for dating as a whole.
3. What made you agree to going out on this date with me?
This might seem like a loaded question at first, but it’s really a very innocent one. There’s nothing wrong with asking this question. In fact, it could make for great conversation. You can both discuss how you decided on agreeing to see one another in the first place. You can also get a good read of each other’s intentions.
4. Do you think that there are other people here who are on first dates too?
People-watching is great. And this is also a great tool to use whenever you feel like there is too much pressure on just the both of you. Relieve that pressure by diverting your attention to the people around you instead.
5. What is your best friend like?
You can tell a lot about a person by the company that they keep. It’s an innocent question at first, but the truth is that you’re really just trying to figure out the kind of people they like to associate themselves with on a social level.
Talk to me
How was your first date? Talk to me in the comments below!