Think back to the last movie that you watched which had an intimate scene in it. Do you remember what happened immediately after the couple was done? It’s either the screen cuts away to another scene or you see the couple cuddling. Why does it feel like this is the only way that couples really bond after coitus? Aren’t there other forms of becoming more intimate even after the deed is done that don’t necessarily involve cuddling?
Yes, cuddling is great. It’s a really nice way to get closer to your partner after you’ve engaged in some hot and steamy fun-time. But the real truth is that it can get really hot and uncomfortable part of the time. You might feel like your arm is falling asleep. You might feel your partner’s body heat making you feel uncomfortable. It’s just not ideal.
But just because you don’t like to cuddle doesn’t mean that you’re not a fan of intimacy in a relationship. There are plenty of other ways in which you can still get closer to your partner afterward that don’t involve cuddling.
Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT, a psychotherapist claims that,
“just because you or your partner aren’t cuddlers doesn’t mean you have to lose the bond you experienced post-lovemaking… When you have sex with your partner, you are creating a bubble in which you two are the only inhabitants,” says Hendrix. “And anything that promotes a connection between you will keep you in your bubble.”
If you are adamant about strengthening the bond and intimacy that you have with your partner after doing it, then you can always refer to the tips that will be listed here. And the best part? They don’t have to include cuddling at all.
1. Camp out in bed for a while.
You don’t necessarily have to get out of bed right after you finish, but you don’t have to lock yourselves in a cuddle right away either. You can just camp out in bed with one another. Watch some television or flip through pages of a book.
Hendrix says, “lying next to each other and reading without saying a word can be very intimate.” You don’t have to be talking to one another. You don’t have to be saying anything at all. There’s just something inherently endearing about laying next to one another even when you isn’t necessarily interacting with each other.
2. Take a shower together.
A lot of the time, you are going to feel the urge to take a shower afterward. And that’s totally fine. It can get really dirty especially if you consider the sweatiness and all of the positions you might find yourselves in. But if you want to build intimacy with your partner, there is a way for you to hit two birds with one stone.
Save water and shower together with your partner. You are going to get a chance to bathe and cleanse yourselves. And you are going to get to bond and get intimate with one another at the same time. It’s practically a win-win. Also, you never know, it might lead to a second round in the shower as well.
3. Engage in some light and fun pillow talk.
“If talking comes easily for you both, use the post-sex vulnerability to talk about what you loved most about your experience,” says Hendrix. When you’re in bed together, you’re in a private cocoon. You are in a safe haven. You get each other’s undivided and uninterrupted attention. Make good use of that time. Make the most of it. It’s really precious and rare moments like these that you can’t afford to be taking for granted.
4. Make out with one another.
There are very few things in the world that can get the blood pumping as effectively as a good make-out session. Just because you don’t want to cuddle doesn’t mean you don’t have any other options for physical interaction afterward.
Go ahead and make out as you used to when you first started going out. Make out like a couple of wild kids in love. You can achieve a higher level of closeness with your partner the more you lock lips with one another.
5. Have some fun and share some laughs.
Have some fun. Play cards in bed. Watch some funny YouTube videos together. Tell each other funny jokes or anecdotes. There’s something so endearing about being able to just laugh with someone who you know you can always feel comfortable and open with.