It would be safe to assume that a vast majority of the world’s population would agree with the point that breaking up with a person is never really easy or simple. There are so many factors that go into making a relationship work; and sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be. And when two people are just incompatible with one another, they are forced to break up no matter how in love they might be in their relationships.
Of course, there are some fairly decent and gentle ways for couples to break up. Often, these are the healthy kinds of breakups; the ones that offer the people involved with a sense of closure. However, there are also the cruel ways to break up with a person – the kinds of breakups that can potentially leave a person feeling damaged, scarred, and wounded for a long period of time. These are the traumatizing kinds of breakups; and no one ever really deserves to have to go through them.
You have to understand that it only takes a single bad breakup to forever taint a person’s approach to relationships and perspective on love. It can be very traumatizing to the point that it dramatically alters a person’s emotional and mental makeup. For some, it can be a trigger for episodes of depression, anxiety, and mistrust. A bad breakup can have such a toxic impact on a person to the point that they could develop some very negative and unhealthy relationship patterns and philosophies. That is why if you have experienced a very impactful breakup that was just downright cruel, you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from other people to try to make sense of it all. Some victims of cruel breakups even go as far so as to seek therapy from licensed professionals.
It can be so difficult and painful trying to initiate a breakup with someone; particularly if you’re still in love with that person and you care deeply for them. It can be hard to go through the proper and healthy process of breaking up; and it can be tempting to just do away with doing things right altogether. But you shouldn’t give in. You shouldn’t take the easy way out because it’s likely that the easy way is also the cruelest way. As uncomfortable as it might make you, you always have to make sure that you conduct yourself in a mature, honest, and respectable manner when you approach a breakup with someone. You can’t break up with a person so insensitively and ruthlessly. Have a heart. Be considerate of that person’s feelings and overall outlook.
Here are a few of the cruelest ways to break up with someone:
1. Ghosting
Ghosting is terrible because you are depriving your partner of any kind of closure. You just act as if the entire relationship never even took place. You leave without a sign. Not only will your partner have to deal with the backlash of being broken up with; they will be left with so many unanswered questions to the point that it’s going to be hard for them to trust another person ever again.
2. The Gradual Fade
The gradual fade is something that is just as cruel as ghosting. Yes, it’s subtle. But it’s still a very passive approach to a breakup. When you feel like there are problems in a relationship, bring them up. If you’re just gradually excluding yourself from the narrative, it doesn’t really solve anything between the two of you. There is no attempt at resolution.
3. Lying
If you’re going to break up with someone, at least be honest about it. Don’t patronize a person by lying to them. Acknowledge that they are mature human beings who are able to handle proper breakups. If they find out that you’re lying about the breakup, you end up depriving them of the real closure that they need.
4. Public Breakups
Don’t be so cruel so as to break up with a person in public. You should already know by now about the emotional torment that comes with enduring a breakup. And sometimes, it can be hard to keep these emotions in check in the moment. That’s why it’s always better to do these breakups in private.
5. Cheating
If you want to break up with a person, break up with them. Confront them about your feelings and you disappointments. Don’t be cowardly by taking the easy way out. Don’t cheat on them to intentionally sabotage the relationship. On top of the breakup, cheating can add even more trauma to a person’s breakup experience.
6. Blindsiding
NEVER blindside a person with a breakup. This is not what they mean when they say that surprises are good for a relationship. You should always have the good sense to really build up to a breakup. Ease your way into it. Prepare your partner for it. Give them a chance to try to fix things or at the very least, let them brace themselves for it.
Talk to me
Have you been on the receiving-end of any of these? Talk to me in the comments below!
My boyfriend just blindsided me by breaking up with me because he was cheating and wanted to be with her. One month before this happened we were discussing some insecurities while we were in the car and he pulled over so he could grab my hand and ook at me in the eyes and told me that there is no one else for him and I’m the only one he wanted. He loved me more than he could put into words. He wanted forever with me. I had heard those things before- he was open with his feelings or so I thought. The week before he left me he told me again that he wants forever with me. He played this role the until he broke up with me. He told me he started something with this women 6 weeks ago or so. I have no idea how he was able to go out with her because he never missed time with me. He was lying to me about how much he loved me and planning a future together while he was building a relationship with her. Sad to say I’ve been through it before so I am sensitive to a partner withdrawing and he did not. He kept up the charade until the end. I’m naturally devastated, in shock and I feel like the fool. We were together almost three years.