When we were 13, in an imaginary relationship with our crush, we thought that was mature. When we started dating at 15, we thought – "Whoa! This is the real deal".В At 17, our first kiss, we feel like we got married to someone!В At 20, we think we are in love and we will be that young couple that is the first one to get married in their circle.В At 23, a real heartbreak and we think love doesn’t exist!
Eventually at 26, we realise, relationships aren’t a joke. They hold greater meaning to them and that’s when we realise the difference between a proper adult relationship and a childish one.В Now, I know I might have defined these state of mind through different ages but really, what I mentioned at age 20 could be happening at an earlier age or what I mentioned at the age of 23 could be happening to you at the age of 30!
My point is that it doesn’t matter what your age is, what matters is how well your mind and feelings have developed. Have they developed enough to understand the true meaning of love and partnership?В If they have, you will genuinely understand these differences between a childish and an adult relationship.
1. Childish relationships focus on the past, Adult ones focus on Now and the future
Small things like someone’s past will never be the point of disruption in an adult relationship unless it is affecting their present or future. They will not bring about and remind you of your past every time you both end up in a fight.
2. People in childish relationships will have unrealistic expectations
They will always expect you to act ideally. The mould of a girlfriend/boyfriend the society has formed nowadays, that is exactly what they would want you to fit in. Every time you fall short of doing something as per their expectations, you’ll be reminded of how imperfect you really are and there is a limit to how much one can bend.
3. Childish relationships will not bear with someone or something else having importance in your life
Oh! This gets to them like anything.В Whether it’s a hobby, a person, gym or a pet! They will always want their partners to keep on reassuring them that they are more important to you than anything. Nope, not equal, not less MORE!В They will, in their own ways, try and take these things out of your life so at the end there is only one person/thing/hobby/thought left in your life.
4. People in childish relationships feel threatened easily
Childish relationships easily feel threatened because they are weak. An adult relationship is build over a lot of understanding, communication and trust. They truly know each other and know what their partner is capable enough to do. They wouldn’t entertain an idea that they think cannot be done by their partners.
5. People in adult relationships don’t hide
Because they are more accepting of each other, their pasts and the things important to them, they always leave room for communication. They believe in complete transparency between each other and they will always respect what their partners will tell them. Since they do not have that perfect-partner-mould ready for their partners to fit into, they are also very understanding towards each other. Making them easier to open up to.
6. People in adult relationships will respect each other’s limits
People in adult relationships will try and not cross the line. They might say things, in a fight or out of anger, to make a point but even then they will not say something that will break their partner. They know the no-go areas and they will respect them. No matter how bad things get, they will always try not to go there. If they do, they will even go down on their knees to apologise.
Adult relationships are all about understanding each other and accepting each other completely. Adding a greater drive and positivity to their goals in life and in them, generally.
An adult relationship is usually your last relationship because you eventually know the meaning of love and when you know that, you would want them to be the one who shares your happily-ever-after with you.
Talk to me
Have you been in a childish relationship? How hard was it for you? Share your experiences with meВ in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
I had been in a childish marriage for 24 years now and I’m about to throw the towel, unfortunately now she’s 40 years old and she never grew up, on top of that she’s bipolar and suffers from I believe she said HDDAS which I think she said it means ( high depression disorder anxiety disorder) and she said she suffers from another bad thing I can’t remembered right now and like I said she’s also bipolar, she refuses to take any kind of medication, she really drives me crazy, she refuses to admit she’s wrong, she does not say sorry even though I can prove to her how wrong she is, she really hold a grudge, she blames me for everything and a ton of other bad things, I believe I’m doing the right thing by leaving her since she’s already 40 with no signs at all of getting any better, like today she picked an argument at work with me bringing back the past and telling me I’m twisting things and when we got home she left to meet her friend to a bar, quick question am I doing wrong by leaving her after all this years..