He might not typically be the kind of guy you would ever imagine yourself becoming attracted to; but sometimes, you just can’t help but fall for him. You can’t control who you end up liking after all. This is especially true if you’ve just been traumatized by so many narcissistic and toxic men in the past. You are so tired of not getting any attention in your relationships, and so you consider it a breath of fresh air to be with someone who is giving you all of the attention that you could ever want. You might think that you’ve actually found the perfect man; someone who makes you the center of his universe.
You have been so scared and traumatized by self-obsessed men in the past, and so you’re deciding to give the insecure guy a try. You think that just because he’s different, that automatically means that he is going to be better. You might assume that you’ve automatically upgraded to a much better situation just because you’re dating someone who isn’t selfish anymore. And while it’s true to a certain extent that you are indeed in a better situation, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in a good situation.
It can be very damaging to your well-being and to your relationship if you attach yourself to an insecure man. And you have to make sure that you protect yourself at all times. If you find yourself in a relationship with an insecure guy, you need to make an adjustment quickly. You aren’t in a good situation, and you need to be able to spot the signs early on.
1. They don’t really have a life outside of your relationship.
He puts a lot of pressure on your relationship by making it his entire life. He doesn’t really have anything else going on for himself, and his sense of self-worth is tied to the two of you staying together.
2. They keep asking you if you’ve moved on from your past relationships.
He’s going to keep asking you if you’ve really moved on from your past relationships. He will keep questioning the realness of your feelings because of how much he doesn’t believe you. He just can’t seem to bring himself to trust you and that’s why he keeps asking.
3. They say “I love you” too quickly in the romance.
He’s going to be overeager. Yes, you want someone to tell you that they’re in love with you. But you always want it to be said in the right place at the right time. If he’s telling you that he loves you way too soon, it’s just his way of trying to lock you down. He’s pressuring you into saying the same thing to him as well.
4. They are constantly looking for validation from you.
He is always going to be fishing for compliments from you. He’s always going to be needy when it comes to adoration and validation. Yes, he will give you lots of attention; but he’s also going to be asking for a lot of assurance from you because he doesn’t trust you.
5. They get jealous way too easily and unreasonably.
He’s going to see himself as someone who can be easily replaced by anyone you might meet. And that’s why he acts very jealous and possessive. He acts very paranoid a lot of the time to the point that he wants to control who you get to interact with. He just doesn’t seem to trust you.
6. They guilt you into staying with them because of their weakness.
This is a common tactic that a lot of insecure boys will employ on their women in relationships. They will present themselves as ultimate weaklings so that their women will feel compelled to take care of them. It’s a guilt-tripping technique that you should never fall victim to.
So, that’s it. Getting a boyfriend who is so willing to give you a lot of attention isn’t always going to be a good thing. Remember that in relationships, like in any other aspect of life, you’re always going to need a healthy balance. You want a man who is humble enough to know that he needs to share his life with you. But he also has to be confident and secure enough to be his own person outside of the relationship.
At the end of the day, you always want to be attaching yourself to a strong individual who is going to be able to help carry the weight of the relationship. You can’t be with someone who is so weak; someone who relies on you to do a lot of the heavy lifting for the both of you. You’re going to need two able-bodied individuals to make a relationship work. Neither of you can afford to slack off if you want your relationship to last for the long haul.