Love or lust?
When you fall in love with a person, can you really know for sure that it’s a permanent kind of love? Or perhaps it’s just a temporary phase of severe infatuation? You have to remember that human emotions can be incredibly deceptive and hard to figure out. Even those who are deeply in tune with how they feel can still have a hard time knowing if the love that they’re experiencing really is the real thing. It’s difficult. Yes. But that’s also why it’s so important for you to be able to distinguish between the two feelings. These two emotions, while similar, carry very heavy fundamental differences with regards to how you should be approaching your relationships. Your expectations for yourself and for your partner will vary greatly depending on whether you love them or if you’re just lusting over them. If you are just lusting after your partner, perhaps you shouldn’t be looking to emotionally invest yourself in such a committed state with this person. But if you’re truly in love with this person, then you really need to make sure that you’re doing everything right so as not to lose this person.
But again, the key lies in being able to make that distinction. Fortunately, social scientists and relationship experts have studied this particular topic in-depth and the results of the study can be of substantial use to us. It turns out that there is a somewhat scientific way by which we can figure out if what we’re feeling is merely lust or if it’s love. Now what we do with this information is purely up to us. What’s important here is that we’re all given the facts so that we aren’t so ignorant going into our relationships. It’s always good to know where we stand in a romance so that we know just how much we are willing to give to it and how much we want to get out of it. Ultimately, it all boils down to being able to mange your goals, expectations, and standards. And all of that depends on figuring out how you really feel about your partner.
So if you’re feeling lost, then don’t worry. You’re not alone. And the steps to finding out the truth about your feelings are going to be listed here. Just make sure that you read the article until the very end.
1. Check if sex is the priority of your relationship.
This should be a fairly obvious one. If you find that sex is the primary thing that rules over your relationship, then it’s highly likely that you’re merely lusting over your partner. It’s as if everything comes secondary to sex. You are happy just as long as you can get some bedroom action with your partner and it upsets you when you don’t. With love, however, it’s a different story. Sex merely becomes a welcome add-on. The main priorities in a loving relationship are emotional connection and intimacy.
2. Do you openly converse and talk to one another?
Communication is always going to be a big aspect of any loving relationship. And it’s not always going to be a big priority in a relationship ruled by lust. Open conversation and communication is a direct result of two peoples’ willingness to become emotionally vulnerable to each other. And in a lustful relationship, emotional vulnerability isn’t always so emphasized.
3. Try to think about how much you’re willing to sacrifice for the relationship.
When you’re in love, you would willingly sacrifice so many things for the person you love. Sometimes, people would even go as far as sacrificing their biggest dreams and desires just to get a shot at being with the person that they love. However, if all that you’re after is sexual pleasure, you wouldn’t be so willing to give up so many things for the relationship. You would be a little more selfish.
4. Ponder on your willingness to try new things with your partner.
The more willing you are to try new things with your partner, then the more emotionally invested you are in your relationship. It shows that you are willing to shake things up for the sake of your love.
5. Do you see your relationship as a we or a me + him/her kind of thing?
When you consider your relationship as a partnership, then you might be in love. You aren’t being selfish and so it goes to show that you don’t really just want to be with your partner for the sake of your own personal sexual pleasure. You really see each other as teammates in this life.
6. When you think about the future, do you see your partner there with you?
If you are envisioning a future life for yourself with your ideal career and family life, do you see your partner there with you at your side? If you do, then it’s likely that it’s love. Because if it’s just lust, you wouldn’t really be thinking in the long-term.
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