Obsession isn’t always a healthy thing. Yes, to a certain extent, you always want to be obsessed with your partner in a relationship – but everything has its limits. When you first meet someone you have a connection with, it excites you. You’ve been exposed to what love is like; and you know that you also want it for yourself. And so it thrills you whenever you find someone with whom you have a real bond and rapport with. You imagine the possibility of sharing a future with this person; and you get really excited.
You start to date and you get to know one another. You get really comfortable being together and you both start to let your guards down. You allow yourselves to become vulnerable together and you are enjoying every aspect of your honeymoon period. It’s as if you’re stuck in a state of perpetual bliss and there are no signs of it ending anytime soon. You’re excited about the future that the two of you are going to share together because of how great your present moment is. But then the honey moon period ends and you emerge into the phase of your relationship where your bond is really going to be tested.
Things start to stabilize and it no longer feels like your relationship is just getting better and better. Reality is going to slap you with real problems that you and your partner are going to have to face together. And there will be some things in your relationship that will surface; things that you thought would never be there in the first place. And then that’s when you know your relationship is starting to get real. You are nervous because your expectations aren’t being met. In fact, your partner is starting to act uncharacteristically. And it’s not in ways that you can just ignore either. Your partner’s actions and demeanor is really starting to concern you;
and you don’t exactly know what you’re about to do about it. You thought that your partner was just in love with you; but somehow, that love isn’t healthy anymore. It’s almost as if your partner is starting to obsess over you in a very very bad way. And that can be very disconcerting. There is a substantial difference between loving someone and obsessing over someone. You want a partner who is going to love you, not obsess over you. You want to make sure that your partner still maintains healthy feelings for you, not toxic and destructive ones. But how can you tell for sure? How can you know if your partner has gone overboard or not?
Well, here are a few signs that you can stay on the lookout for. If you notice that a lot of the stuff listed on here are things that your partner is guilty of, then it’s likely that your partner is obsessed with you. And you need to do something about it. You need to either call him out over his obsession, or you just have to be able to walk away from this situation entirely.
1. He barrages you with all of his attention all of the time.
He is always devoting all of his attention on you. It’s as if he’s putting you under his microscope and he’s constantly analyzing you every move. You feel like you can’t make a move without him knowing about it.
2. He demands that you spend all of your time on him.
He feels entitled to dictate how you should be spending your time. He feels like he gets to tell you to drop other commitments whenever he needs or wants you to be there for him.
3. He starts to compromise the other aspects of his life for your relationship.
He starts to compromise the relationships that he might have with friends and family because he’s only focused on your own relationship. His work life starts to suffer because you have basically overtaken every aspect of his life. He is compromising his entire lifestyle just to be with you.
4. He acts jealous towards any other people or things that you devote your attention to.
He hates it whenever you show any interest or attention in things or people that don’t involve or concern him. He considers you to be your whole life; and he wants to make sure that he makes up your entire life as well.
5. He feels a constant need to be updated on your whereabouts and activities.
If he could plant surveillance camera on you whenever you’re out without him, he would. He hates it when you do stuff without him, and he’s going to want to find a way to be involved somehow.
6. He hijacks your personal space and boundaries without care for your feelings.
He doesn’t care for your privacy and sense of personal space. He doesn’t respect you enough to be mindful of the boundaries that you set in your relationship.