How do couples who used to be really close and passionate end up feeling more like roommates? No one has a definite answer, but the reasons can be different for each relationship. At some point, the love and excitement might have faded away, and you started acting like friends instead of a couple.
After the initial spark goes away, it can be tough to keep that same strong connection. Having similar interests, getting along well, and having similar plans for life can all help prevent the feeling of just being roommates.
Here are 6 signs that could show you’re starting to feel more like roommates and less like a couple.
1. You Have Separate Lives
Your daily routines and things you like to do are no longer connected. Days go by without talking much or sharing things. You see each other at home, but life feels like you’re walking your own path. It’s like you’re on your own journey, even when you’re together.
2. Intimacy Has Become A Rarity
In your relationship, what makes romantic connections special has taken a backseat. Hugs become rare, and kisses start to feel more like a polite thing. And it’s not just physical intimacy – those deep, heart-to-heart talks have become rare. Remember when you could discuss anything? Now, conversations revolve around daily tasks instead of sharing your dreams.
3. Communication Has Become Functional
Although practical stuff is important, your conversations should go beyond that. Your relationship should also include meaningful chats and surprises. When your talks lack depth and only focus on practical matters, it could mean you’re treating each other more like roommates than partners.
A wonderful part of being in a relationship is the journey you take together. When you have common goals, dreams, and plans, it brings you closer as a couple. But what if you realize you no longer share those dreams? Maybe you’re thinking about money or your careers in different ways. It’s possible that your life goals aren’t matching anymore, and it feels like you’re going separate ways. If this sounds familiar, it could mean you’ve moved from a married mindset to more of a roommate situation.
5. The Magic Has Faded
All relationships have ups and downs but if your relationship feels like a boring routine without excitement, it could be a problem. Remember when simple things felt special together? Now, everything seems dull, lacking joy or thrill. You’re just doing chores together, and if you can’t recall the last time you had fun or felt happy spending time together, you might be acting more like roommates than partners.
6. Lack of Emotional Support
When life gets tough, we usually lean on our partners for comfort. But what if that comfort is gone? Imagine returning home after a hard day, hoping for kind words, a hug, or someone to listen. Instead, you’re met with indifference or a casual response. It’s like your feelings don’t matter to your partner anymore. If you feel like you’re facing your problems alone even though you’re together, it could mean you’re acting more like roommates.
Recognize these signs in your relationship? We’re interested to hear your thoughts!
When we get old. Stuff breaks. It’s nice having a forever best friend.
I have read all these signs, they all apply to me in my marriage. I’m so lonely but cannot connect with my husband. He is always angry and always is impatient with me.
Exactly how it is for me sadly 🙁
Same! And we have not even been married 18 months!
Iam not married iam in a 6 year relationship
And my girlfriend always comes tired from work we have no intimacy all she do is sleep telling me she is tired of working long hours
And as a man I want to make love to often but I just give up because she making me bored with that tired word…..plz help
Try to put yourself and your goals 1st. Live without any expectation. Stay strong abd happy
Omg this my life exactly, right now. Why is this happening?
You talk about my situation
I have tried so many times talking to my hubby about this, better for a couple of days only.
Same here no intimacy no love no one to talk an I felt everything is over need someone to talk me alone all sign are mine me need break from all bullshit my life sucks I feel very bad desission married this guy
Try talking to him more on topics of his interest and try to find his reactions.
I can relate. I feel so sad so lonely all the time. I try to discuss the situation and I’m met with why am I always trying to start something. I don’t know what to do. I’m about to give it all up
I’m sorry I went trough the same we are trying to save our marriage he told me I have been ignoring him for 10 years and he feel lonely 🙁 we are trying and I hope your marriage can be saved you both need to try and talk .
So true I feel you it’s that way for me and if u try to talk the husband just gets down right angry any mention of sex causes fights can’t even joke about it
I know how you feel Ange….I am in the same place …
Stay strong
CHANGE IS HARD I KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE THE ONE WHOS ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN YOUR WORDS. YOU DESERVE TO WAKE UP SMILING,FALL ASLEEP KNOWING YOU ARE LOVED,WANTED, AN NEEDED. YOU CAN DO THIS I HAVE FAITH IN YOU THAT YOU WILL EXPECT MORE FOR YOURSELF. HOW HE IS PROJECTING HIS UNLOVINGLY EMOTIONS (THAT IS PROBABLY HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HIMSELF) MAKES MY HEART ACHE FOR BOTH YOU 💔 I WILL BE PRAYING CLARITY AN OPEN EYES LOVE YOURSELF MY FRIEND
Same with me. All the 6 signs matches with my situation. 🥹🥹🥹
.. I am going to say to say one word to u Narcasitic partner .. ok that’s two big pleasego study and u might find out why u feel so ALONE X I done 23 years of absolute madness and only found it three years prior to ending it x it was Like a puzzle finnally fitting together!! He may just be an unloveing character.. but please look up ‘narcasitic partner’ u might find its
the best thing u ever done hunni xx
I 100% support this!!! I have experienced this for the last four years. What most don’t also understand is how most men prefer p*rn than to sleep with their partner, so many seem to have this where there’s no intimacy! I believe guys don’t need us for intimacy as the content they choose to look at is all they need, I feel we are only used as a home maker and safety net.
Exactly i feel like same as you
Same here, I am ready to just leave!
Exactly what I feel!
Mine too. I’ve tried and tried and now it feels like I’m “TRIED” out. What to do now?
I fully understand you. That’s me also
does it ever stay the same?
All 6 for.my marriage
Same way my husband acts 😭
Im married for almost 6yrs now. We’ve been together for nearly 11yrs.
I’ve read it all, it hurts cause this is my marriage you talking about.
Im a stay-at-home mom still job hunting and i feel like a burden, i can’t remember the last time my husband made me feel special or like I mean something to him
Hi there I’ve been with my with for 30 years married for 15 July 25th 09 I sleep in one room she’s sleeps in the other there’s been no intimacy for 3 years now I feel alone I can’t work any more I got in a head on coilson and broke my back L4-L5 above tail bone on my way to a structure fire I was a volunteer fire fighter I’ve tried talking to her a fews now nothing I feel unwanted I discussed her were both 52 years old
we take it out on the closest person to us. it’s not always your self that’s the problem . life it’s self weighs us down . Just Tring to keep the family up and running cant be hard enough. the best thing is just support . and that you care for him . and stand strong be his side . ride out the wave.
I feel the same way right now. I’m unable to work now because I had surgery on my hand dr hasn’t fully released me yet and now he dont want to pay the bills that i pay like car payment light wifi etc… he leaves for hours and doesn’t come home.
same here
Yes I can relate and I find it sad,my husband worked away for years all through my my kidney failure and transplants. He sounds and acts like a uneducated man now mad at everything and doesn’t enjoy nature like he use to,I’m lonely even when his right beside me I know this transplant won’t last me into my middle 60s and thats 8 years away. Don’t want to be here anymore 😐
This is me in mine. All we seem to talk about now is how our days go there is no more in depth than that. He’s on tik tok and I am reading a book that’s how we spend our days and the intimacy is gone both physical and emotional. Im just going through the motions.
Sadly rhia how my wife had become with me, despite my effotrs to talk about things, she seems to think nothing is wrong, or thinks in dont nothing, idk…
Do u work? U never said if u worked or just let her take care of u. Maybe she is tired of being the bread winner.
Tell him how you feel…not that you haven’t mentioned it already.
It’s sad Pam I had three kidney transplants as well I feel you
My parents gave all of this what should I do? They’ve been married 10 year but now there is talk of divorce what do I do.
Ask them to try marriage counselling before going for a full divorce see if they can work it out I know a few people that have tried this many are very happy now together but some sadly the best thing was to go there separate way in the end hopefully everything will be ok with your mum and dad in the end x
Don’t divorce, hold it off if you want it to actually work…then every day for a month compliment her, do something around the house that only she usually does….go to like Walmart or target with about 100 or so dollars and have her walk down the movie isle until u say stop and what ever her hand landed is the movie for yalls date night, next do the same with food,drinks, and a board game…find something u both used to enjoy and do it….take her back to memory lane where yalls special firsts were….then only then if yall ain’t doing better try therapy…if all fails then get the divorce…keep ur head up…all a real women really needs is to know she matters, she’s loved and she’s appreciated….
Some women dont want love but just a roommate but was pushed into marriage by deception.
25 years married today. We have lived through beautiful, bad and ugly times, but we have not let go of each other’s hands. The problem I see in couples today is high expectations. They compare their lives too much with Hollywood novels and Netflix series. The reality is something else.
Most do not grow up , do not mature. They expect from their partner what they cannot give. The only way to be happy and have a healthy relationship is to first be happy with yourself. No one will make you happy if you are a boring and miserable person.
Take care and good luck.
All i gotta do now is wake up and smell the coffee
Sometimes the person you knew don’t match who they are,maybe they were just a clone or they changed
Sad this happens.. been married 5 years and the first 4 were deeply in love and now its like where is that person I fell in love with? Was he even real. So I’m stuck asking myself what now????
Unrealistic expectations are the basis of people drifting apart.
I feel like this is me. I’ve. Known for a while it’s basically over but I can’t seem to let it go. I’ve left several only to return usually because of not being able to afford to financially to start over. He is definitely a narcissist & has no respect or care or concern about anything in my world. Why do I keep going back
You keep going back because your scared what your life may look like with out the daily routine you have created with him. You keep going back because you would rather have a safe house, even if your miserable, rather then calling up a friend or family member and if you have neither, their are places like hope houses, ect to help get you in some where…
Am married n currently living through all the sign mention, it’s torture no one should live like this.
2 Tips that will DEFINITELY bring back romance in your marriage. It’s all up to the WIFE’S to save the day.
1. Be Feminine
A. Speak softly to your husband with sexy attitude
B. Don’t be competitive with him,
C. Reassure him that he is the head of the home and whatever he say or do will reflect on his leadership and you are depending on him to be a wise leader.
D. Be supportive, compliment him whenever he does something around the house or anything that you could find to give him credit for.
2. Lots of s*x
A. Every 2 or 3 days give your husband s*x
B. Don’t let him always have to ask for s*x
C. Play with his private parts often that’s help him to relax
D. If he’s in a miserable mood that’s the best time to help him relax by giving him massage follow by s*x
Society teach us how to treat women but don’t teach us how to treat men, Society also trick women to believe that men should be the romantic ones and that’s not true by nature.
Women are romantic and emotional by nature and for that reason women crave more attention.
Men are lacking the ability to be romantic on a daily basis, but if romance is given to a man he will take charge of that moment and give this woman all the attention she needs in that moment.
As far an intimacy and sex, I wish this was true, but with age and impotence he no longer has any desire to try and doesn’t like taking meds that make him feel worse. I understand, but kisses, hugs, conversations, emotional support would help. After 10 days with my 83 yr Mom who was diagnosed with cancer, he told me to move out 😢 I’m heartbroken 💔 now I’m living in the spare room until I can afford to move.
My been like this since I found out he was cheating on 3 different time sad thing we brought a kid into this world that i didn’t want.
All checked. Worst than what I am now as I waited for him for 16 yrs. as he works overseas & now after a year of settling in, we end up as room mates.
I have been married 35 yrs. My wife declared no more set, she it content with never doing it again. Many of these signs are the same, age does things to people, changes them, one thing I wish, is that people spoke more about these things so people understood what could and most likely happen. How they feel and what changed on their marriages. It a taboo subject leaving people to be angry , upset, and because of these changes.
We all have the potential as married couples to fall into the pattern of roommates I force my husband to talk and request hugs we go on dates regularly and talk about our feelings when I felt lonely I told him. He did better for a minute then fell into his same habits . So I bring it up again. Marriage is work and I’m not Willing to start all this over again. I’ve invested 27 long years in him, in us we’re gonna make this work !
I absolutely understand what u are saying all 6 of these signs are so accurate in my marriage that I started crying my husband is a total control freak every thing his way and nothing I mean nada was ever good enough in his eyes no matter what I did new clothes new makeup new anything and he would find something wrong now 2 weeks ago I found out he was cheating i already suspected it because I seen some very bad things in his phone but the day I found out for certain he was cheating I had nowhere to go but that was it I walked out and he was so full of himself he didn’t actually believe I left 😂 😂 we have been separated 2 weeks and not gon lie I am a basket case heart broken I was with this man 18 years and to be just basically unappreciated and not even respected enough to even basically do anything with me I got left at home while he was doing whatever he wanted but told me “working’ I just pray I have the strength to stay away from him sorry so long lol I guess just be venting
Well it has to be reciprocal for it to work out no one person is ever in the right. I find that there is always one person that feels they are the ones doing the most and sometimes that may be true but it has to be 2 adults who fix it not one . God gave us marriage so we wouldn’t have to be alone for our lives and as a race a human race we have gotten away from his word . If we put his teachings and his word at the very center of our marriage and give our spouses the needed time to connect and fix any issue that may come up then there is nothing our marriages can’t withstand.good luck God bless
This is how I felt before we divorced. Well he came in and blindsided me one day and said I don’t want to be married anymore. I wanted to fix it but he didn’t want too. Marriage is a work in progress always and if these things start happening your headed towards divorce unless you can see what you had in the beginning when you met and get it back. I am single now and been through another relationship which was toxic and hurt me so bad. So two times hurt in my life. Now I am single and I am still lonely but I would rather be a lone than feel unloved again. I am currently taking a six week course online about relationships so o can better myself in case I meet someone again. My ex bf wants to try again but he hurt me so much and every way possible in a toxic situation I don’t know if we can even get bk what we had in the beginning. Plus he has an addiction and it made it even harder in our relationship but he says he sober now but idk cause he’s still doing time and I lost trust in a lot of people and relationships. I hope I learn from this six week seminar I am doing. He says he’s learned to be better in the classes he took in prison but idk if it’s just a smoke show to get me back. But I have boundaries and I am harder to get past now with lies and o see red flags more easily now. I think it’s so hard to find real love.
It’s sad 😔 to read my marriage on screen. He did quit drinking for our marriage but so much is blamed on me. He has a life, I sit home my health doesn’t help. If I had a penny for every time I got blamed for something that wasn’t on me, I be rich! I don’t even know what a normal conversation is face to face. Maybe it’s time to rethink things again.
I feel this all
And made me scared and sadness 😔
I really love him so much he loves me too I know that 💓
But because of the situation now I feel all of this so bad 👎 I hate it so much 😫 😩 😭
Exactly what happens and trying to get anything back went right out the door! Now STUCK suggestions on how to get out!? Walking on eggshells because he’s always angry, can not and will not hold a conversation. 2 minor (teenage) children still living in the home also. The biggest problem…Cheaper to continue to live this roommate lift in different rooms but so sad, heartbreaking and hurtful for these last several years (8+) married 30. Don’t want my life this sad anymore….
It takes both people putting in the effort to make a relationship work. If your partner isn’t trying, there comes a time when you have to face that it’s over. Move on. You only have one life to live. Don’t be miserable for the rest of it.