6 things to NOT do when trying to win your ex girlfriend back
First of all… don’t.
Sometimes, you let a girl go because you think that you’re not compatible enough and that the both of you would be much happier alone, but two months pass and you’ve never been more miserable and you realise that you have made a grave mistake. You need her back, the only question is- how? How do you win her back when you have made her hate you?
Let’s be real, you’re not Matthew McConaughey from Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past’- no spirits of jilted lovers are going to appear before you and make you realise what you did wrong in relationships and how to fix your mistakes. You need to be honest to yourself and remember never to do the following while trying to win her back.
1. Calling and texting her all the time
We know, you really badly want to hear her voice but you need to avoid grabbing your phone and dialing her number which is conveniently imprinted in your mind. 80% of the people who want their exes back, continuously text and call their partners and after some time, their partner stops texting back and answering their phone.
Every time you call your ex, you’re making them think that you’re needy and miserable without her- which you are, but she doesn’t need to know that. When she sees you as needy and pathetic, you become unattractive in her mind, eliminating possibilities of you and her ever getting back together.
2. Beg them or make them feel bad for you
Begging and pleading is what most people resort to when nothing else works out but you must remember that you can’t lose your dignity and pride along with losing this girl. Begging and emotionally blackmailing her into taking you back will only make you appear insecure and pathetic before her. You start to think ‘If only she knows that I can’t continue my life without her, she’ll take me back’, well, she won’t, because if she was planning on taking you back, she wouldn’t have let you go in the first place.
And even if she does somehow feel bad enough for you to come back, will you really be able to lead a normal relationship knowing in your heart that the only reason she’s there is because she felt pity for you?
3. Let them treat you like a doormat
You need to understand that your ex is not everything; you’ll force yourself into believing that if you do every little thing she tells you to, she’ll come back. You’ll also tell yourself that your own personal desires and goals don’t matter all that much and what’s important is that everything goes her way and you should make sacrifices for her happiness.
Well guess what, pal? Letting your ex walk all over you will only make her respect you less, and there can be no relationship without mutual respect.
4. Showering them with compliments
Even after breaking up, you find yourself commenting on her Instagram posts, telling her how beautiful she looks, heart-eyed emoji and all. And when you see her in real life, you never forget to tell her she looks absolutely fantastic, because surely if she realises how much you appreciate her, she’ll come back right? Wrong.
The more you smother her and compliment her, the more trapped she’ll feel and you’ll be eliminating all chances of a potential rekindling.
5. Track her movements
I don’t think I need to elaborate that much on this one, stalking her on Facebook is one thing but physically actually tracking her movements is just a whole new level of stalker and not to mention creepy.
You’re way in over your head if you feel the need to actually go out and follow your ex to her doctor’s appointment to make sure she doesn’t meet anyone on the way or use her appointment as an excuse to meet someone new.
6. Freaking out when you find out that she’s started seeing someone
It sounds like something painful to go through- watching someone you love be in love with someone else. You’ll automatically think that she’ll forget all about you if you don’t somehow reenter her life, so you do all the things this article has so far told you not to do- you call her ten times a day, wait for her outside her apartment, shower her with compliments, beg her to take you back- but all for naught because the fact of the matter is that she’s in this relationship all too show you.
She’s in a rebound relationship and the best thing to do is to simply wait because such relationships rarely ever last. No matter what happens, do not tell your ex to break up with their rebound partners, let her decide to break it off, she’ll soon realise that a rebound relationship will not fill the emptiness inside of her and she’ll end it.
Talk to me
Do you think these things mess up your chances of getting back with your girl? Have you tried any of these before? How did it work out for you? Let me know in the comments below!