Don’t let them walk all over you, again.
A lot of people typically won’t want to give up on their romances and their love affairs a little too easily even when things are getting really tough. They will want to try their absolute hardest just to make their love work even when things are looking really bleak. That’s just innate in all of us as human beings. We always want to work for the things we care most about and that most especially includes love. But sometimes, we have to come to terms with the fact that a lot of things just aren’t meant to be. Sometimes, we really just can’t afford to spend more time on lost causes. And so we have to let go even though it’s going to hurt us greatly.
There isn’t necessarily a textbook on dating that is 100% accurate. Relationships are too complicated. There are just too many things to consider and so many personalities that fall into the mix. However, there are some basic principles that people must adhere to if they want to be looking out for their own well-being. Of course throughout the course of human history, experience has always been the best teacher. And in the end, time becomes the best healer as well.
So yes, breakups are really difficult. And things can get particularly complicated whenever an old flame just waltzes back into your life ever so casually. You are caught off guard. You don’t know what to do. This is a person who at one point in time practically meant the world to you. This was the person whose leaving left you feeling incredibly heartbroken and dismayed. And so naturally, you are overwhelmed with the reemergence of this person in your life. You are disoriented and you may have a tendency to let your guard down.
1. Don’t.
While it can be tempting to entertain the thought of really letting this person back into your life, you still have to stay guarded. You can’t allow yourself to be so vulnerable again right off the bat. You have to consider the fact that this relationship didn’t work before and it left you a broken person. There are plenty of things that you need to be thinking about and you shouldn’t be impulsively jumping into any conclusions. This time around, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Use your brain first and let it take the lead for now. Here are a few things you need to keep in mind.
2. The relationship didn’t make you a better person.
You really have to take into consideration the person that you were when you were in a relationship together. Did you like who you were? Did you like the person that you were becoming? Well, the relationship ended and so it’s highly likely that the answer to both of those questions is no. You have to understand that a path back into that relationship is also a path back to the kind of person that you were at the time.
3. There are just too many negatives compared to the positives.
A pros and cons list is always a great way to go about making a decision. It levels your head and it pushes you to really reflect upon your life with great vigor. Sometimes, your thoughts can get clouded with emotions, but when you start writing all your arguments down on a piece of paper, you are taking emotions out of the equation. Let your brain take the lead this time and save your heart some of the trouble. – Continue reading on the next page
4. It’s going to hurt a lot more the second time around.
They say the first cut is the deepest. But that’s not true. You’re just going to hurt so much more the second time around. You are even going to hate yourself if things fail on the second try. You will hate yourself for making the same mistake twice. And those wounds aren’t easy to heal at all. It will take a lot of time and effort before you’re going to be okay with yourself again if things don’t work out for the best this time.
5. You are still trying to heal from the previous time.
What’s the point in reopening old wounds? It’s stupid, right? Now think about how stupid it would be for you to just enlarge wounds that still haven’t healed yet. If you still haven’t recovered from this relationship, then you should really allow yourself the time and space to do so before you jump back into things. You definitely owe yourself that much at least.
6. You are just starting to fall in love with yourself again.
When you get into a relationship, whether it’s a good or a bad one, you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to just fall in love with your life as a single person. You are deprived of the opportunity of self-discovery. You are deprived of the chance to make something of yourself; something that you can call entirely your own.
