How easy it would be for all of us to get the answers to an examination even before we take it. But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t come with a cheat sheet. It doesn’t come with a review booklet or a guidebook. It doesn’t come with a set of instructions, and we are pretty much left to figure things out on our own.
But a lot of us will believe that life actually does come with a set of guidelines to help us navigate our way through this world. A lot of us believe in the idea of God and the power of the church to help bring meaning, direction, and fulfillment to our lives. We turn to the church and its leaders to give us some much-needed wisdom regarding life’s toughest issues that concern the self, career, family, and society. And for the most part, a lot of us really find comfort in this system even when others don’t.
This particularly applies to love and the concept of marriage. Marriage is an institution that the church takes very seriously because of its role in family formation and procreation. Plenty of couples in love will turn to the church for advice regarding weddings and marriages. And some people have effectively sought wisdom in the religious institution for their marriage woes. But there are also some things that the church can’t teach you about marriage things that you only ever really learn about through experience.
You have to understand that the church, despite it being a divine institution, still has its limitations. It is still an institution that is run and managed by human beings imperfect people with flaws and imperfections. So you can’t expect them to always have the answers, and that’s fine. This is particularly true with marriage since church elders and leaders aren’t allowed to get married under religious law. Here are some examples of truths about marriage that the church will never teach you.
1. Sex is God’s gift to couples in love.
The problem with the topic of sex is that it tends to get a very demonized reputation especially in the religious community. And so as a result, young-lings are never really taught about the spiritual and emotional weight that comes with having sex with another human being. What a lot of people get wrong about sex is that it is an evil act. But it isn’t. It’s a beautiful expression of love and affection for a person who is near and dear to your heart.
2. You are not destined to be with just one person.
The whole idea of soulmates is a lie. You are never entitled to anything or anyone. You are never going to be promised a love. You are never going to be given the love that you want on a silver platter. You really have to work hard to sustain your love in your relationships. You really have to dedicate yourself emotionally and physically to your relationship to make things work. It’s not about fate or destiny. It’s about making the conscious choice to put in the effort every single day.
3. Marriage is going to get really hard really quick.
The honeymoon phase isn’t going to last as long as one would think. When you get married with someone, reality has a way of kicking you in the face even when you least expect it. The moment you get married with someone, you are essentially committing yourself to another person’s set of issues and problems to add on top of your own and you really have to be ready for that.
4. Your marriage is not what completes or defines you as a person.
No successful marriage could ever sustain itself if the people involved don’t make an effort to still live their individual lives in it. You can’t afford to have your marriage define who you are or give you a sense of completion because it’s never going to do that for you. You are always going to work to establish your own individuality to maintain your sanity in the relationship.
5. Marriages are easier for couples who share similar values, goals, and ideals.
It’s true. Things are just easier when you mesh well with your partner. Compatibility plays a huge role in making relationships work. There are plenty of couples who love each other very deeply but still end up separating or divorcing just because their love couldn’t overcome their incompatibility. You build compatibility with someone by aligning your values and goals with one another; and by making compromises here and there.
6. Marriage isn’t cut out for everybody.
Not all people are cut out for marriage, and that’s okay. Not all people are built for committing themselves to a single other person in such a manner that a marriage would require from them. There are just some people who are meant to live a single and solitary life because they find meaning in being alone.
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