When you first get into a relationship with someone, it’s always going to be an exhilarating and thrilling time. This is a period of your relationship that a lot of people popularly refer to as the honeymoon phase. It’s as if the level of intimacy and affection that you have for one another are at an all time high. Your feelings of passion and attraction for each other are still fresh and exciting. You are both still free from the heavy problems that plague long-term relationships down the line. You are both as carefree and as liberated as can be; it’s as if the possibilities of your relationship are endless.
However, you also have to realize that the early phase of a relationship is also the perfect time for you to set your expectations for one another as far as your relationship is concerned. Expectations are normal in fact, they are encouraged aspects of any relationship. It’s okay for you to have expectations for one another. It’s part of building on the connection and bond that you have for one another whenever you try to work to meet each other’s standards and expectations. However, it would be terrible for your relationship if you actually have unreasonable expectations for each other. And that’s why you have to make sure that you are able to objectively assess the expectations that you set for your partner and for your relationship.
Things could seem as perfect as they could be early on in a romance, but little did you know that your unreasonable expectations are actually proving to be detrimental to your love for one another. Many unreasonable expectations stem from an individual’s overindulgence in blind optimism and idealism as well as excessive cynicism. Many people will have a tendency to take their expectations to the extremes without taking into consideration the feasibility of the standards that they impose on their partners.
That’s why even though you are completely smitten by your partner, you have to make an effort to see things from a clear perspective. Take the rose-colored glasses off and try to be as unbiased as possible wen you look at your partner. You can’t keep on placing them on a pedestal. You can’t keep on expecting them to be or act a certain way especially when it’s not in their nature to do so. If you want to maintain a long and healthy romance with your partner, you have to make sure that you set reasonable expectations and you communicate them to your partner effectively.
There are many negatives that come with having unreasonably high expectations in a relationship. For one, you are placing too much unnecessary pressure on your partner and on your relationship to win an unwinnable battle. And second, you are setting yourself up for disappointment by allowing yourself to give in to expectations that are never going to be met anyway. And if you have unreasonably low expectations for your relationship, you also risk making your partner feel like you don’t really believe in your love and you are devaluing the relationship that you’re in.
So what are some examples of unreasonable expectations that you might be making in your relationship? Well, here are a few:
1. You want your partner’s entire life to be about you and your relationship.
You have to give your partner the space and freedom that they need to live their own life outside of the relationship. You can’t have a codependent relationship because that would only place too much unnecessary pressure on yourselves to stay together.
2. You want your partner to constantly prove their love to you.
Sometimes, you just have to trust that your partner is infatuated by you. You can’t keep letting your insecurities get the best of you. It can get very tiring when a person has to constantly prove their love.
3. You’re always living in the future with regards to your relationship.
It’s good to be forward-thinking in a relationship. But it’s wrong if you keep on forcing your partner to have a long-term commitment with you when you’re just starting to date. Real trust and commitment takes time to build.
4. You expect your partner to tell you that they love you immediately.
Real love takes time to develop. You can’t rush it. You can’t force it to appear if it’s not there.
5. You want your partner to always spend a fortune on gifts for you.
Money is always a tricky thing. You don’t want to be cheap with your partner. But you don’t want to overdo it either. You have to understand that just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are entitled to all of their money.
6. You want your partner to constantly be around you.
You have to respect your partner’s time as well. They don’t have to devote all hours of their lives to you. You should let them live their lives the way that they want in accordance to your relationship.
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