Hey, it’s a part of it. Just because the two of you happen to be in a healthy and loving romantic relationship with one another doesn’t mean that you won’t be without your fair share of fights and disagreements. Yes, you are both in love. Yes, you share a lot of the same common interests, values, goals, and principles. And that’s why the two of you get along so well for the most part. That’s why the two of you make for such a great couple in a happy relationship. That’s why you’re both so deadly in love with one another. However, you’re still two very unique and distinct individuals who are separate from one another. You aren’t ALWAYS going to see things eye to eye; and when you have your clashes and disagreements, it’s important that you are able to handle them in a mature and effective manner.
You have to know upfront that the strength of a relationship isn’t really determined by whether or not they get into fights or arguments. The strength of a relationship lies in a couple being able to resolve conflict effectively and maturely. You always have to able to maintain proper decorum when you’re dealing with your disagreements. You won’t always be on the same page, and that’s why communication is key. To add on to that, you always want to make sure that you never do or say anything that you’re both going to regret in the future. And that can be tricky because a lot of times, arguments can get heated. Temperatures might be riding high and emotions might be a little overwhelming. You always have to establish full control over your feelings and you have to let your reason prevail.
On top of all of that, you have to make sure that you avoid doing any of these 7 things when you are arguing with your significant other:
1. You include friends or family members in your personal disputes.
Keep your problems to yourselves. If your issues are too serious to deal with, then maybe you can ask help from a licensed professional as a last resort.
2. Avoid any form of violence at all costs.
Use your words; and be as gentle and as caring as possible. There is no need to get violent with your arguments – most especially physical violence. You never want to be physically harming your partner even when you know you’re not really causing any permanent physical damage. The emotional damage from such an experience is what is going to be the real issue here. Keep it civil. Be mature. Be kind and understanding.
3. Don’t drag old arguments into new ones.
Don’t rehash any old arguments and bring it into this one. Or don’t go find other things to be upset about. Just stay on the topic at hand. Handle one issue at a time. Resolve one problem at a time. Don’t be biting off more than you can chew. That is just poor communication.
4. Never broach the topic of “breaking up” when you’re arguing.
Sometimes, you can get into really heated fights that you start thinking of the two of you just ending things already. And that’s a serious problem because if you bring it up during the heat of the argument, there’s a good chance that you hurt each other’s feelings. A lot of times, the only reason you think of breaking up is that you’re emotional at that moment. And you can’t let your emotions get the best of you.
5. Don’t walk away from an argument.
Sometimes, walking away from an argument can be very tempting when you’re in the middle of it. A lot of times, people will even do anything that they can to avoid arguments altogether. However, this is the wrong approach. It’s always important that you FINISH your arguments. Or at the very least, pause them WITH your partner. If you’re tired of arguing, tell your partner that you both need to cool off and table your discussion for another time.
6. Don’t attack your partner’s character.
Keep your arguments issue-based. If you have a problem with something that your partner did to you, then bring up that specific action. Don’t attack your partner on a personal level because that will only make things… personal. And you definitely don’t want that. You don’t want to make your partner feel like they’re not good enough for you.
7. Avoid fighting in public.
Think of your arguments like sexual encounters. These are all very intimate and private experiences. You shouldn’t be broadcasting these activities to the world. When you are fighting with your partner, you are essentially making yourselves vulnerable. You are speaking from your mind and your heart. And you will only ever really want to do that with the person you’re in love with; the person you’re in a committed relationship with.