First dates can make you feel all sorts of ways, like nervous, excited, or even a bit worried. The tricky part about dating is when you want a relationship but end up with people who aren’t a good match or want different things. It can be discouraging.
But that’s just how dating works and even though you can’t predict the future of a relationship right away, some early signs can help you avoid people who clearly aren’t a good fit on the first date.
1. They don’t respect your boundaries
Pay attention to how your date reacts when things don’t go their way or when you have a different preference. It’s important to see if they respect your boundaries or not. For example, if you say you don’t want another drink, and they order one for you anyway, or if you need to leave early but they try to make you stay longer, or if they try to kiss you and you’re not comfortable, but they get defensive or upset, these are signs they might not respect your boundaries on the first date.
2. They are rude to others
It’s not just about how nice your date is to you; it’s also important to see how they treat others. If they complain about the service, refuse to tip, or act rude to the bartender or wait staff, it’s like a sneak peek into how they treat people in general. If they’re not kind to others, chances are you might experience that unkindness yourself in the future.
3. They refer to one or more of their ex-partners as “crazy”
Talking about ex-partners is usually not a good idea on a first date. But if it comes up and your date is calling their ex “crazy” or speaking badly about them, it can show that they might not take responsibility for their own actions. This suggests they might not take responsibility for your relationship either.
4. There is a theme of them talking poorly about others
When you’re having early conversations, pay attention if your date talks negatively about others behind their back. If it seems like they have an issue with almost everyone in their life, it’s worth noting that they might be the common factor in those problems. This is something to be cautious about when considering a relationship with them.
5. They frequently check their phone or take calls
Unless there’s an emergency, if your date is often distracted, checking their phone, or answering calls during your time together, it indicates that they might not be considering your feelings. This behavior suggests they could have trouble being fully engaged and present if you choose to continue dating them.
6. They talk about themselves the whole time
When you’re on a date, notice if your date is just talking about themselves without asking about you. It’s like they’re not really interested in what you have to say. On the other hand, if they’re having a back-and-forth conversation, where you both take turns asking questions and sharing, it’s better for building a connection and feeling like you matter in the conversation.
7. They are trying to speed up the pace of getting to know you too quickly
Is your date talking a lot about the future, making plans for things you’ll do together, events to attend, or places to visit? It might sound nice and exciting initially, but if they don’t really know you yet, these future plans could give you a false sense of security. This might make you miss other warning signs that you should pay attention to.
Have you encountered any first date red flags we missed? We’d love to hear your experiences and insights!
