It’s true. A lot of us can deal with pangs of jealousy from time to time. It’s part of what makes us human. We are constantly striving for more. We are always trying to pursue the things that we want; the things that we don’t have yet. And it’s normal for us to feel jealous whenever other people are experiencing the things we want for ourselves. Jealousy can take its shape in various forms in this life. Of course, it’s not only something that you find in relationships. However, the kind of jealousy that will be the subject of this article is the kind that is brought about by romantic love.
Is it okay to be jealous in a relationship? Well, there really isn’t any absolute answer. It all depends on the situation. When you have certain insecurities in you that make you feel jealous in your relationships, it can serve as a double-edged sword a lot of the time. Jealousy is something that can either make or break your relationships. A lot of the time, jealousy is seen as something that is toxic, wrong, and negative.
Jealousy is believed to be something that should have no place in any healthy kind of relationship. But it would be a mistake to be talking about jealousy in absolutes. Yes, it’s true that jealousy can be toxic and it is often the cause of people feeling suffocated in relationships. However, jealousy can also be a positive thing for a relationship. Think about it. You always want to establish a sense of ownership of your relationship. It’s yours. You want to protect it at all costs. And sometimes, that means you have to be possessive and territorial to a certain extent. And when certain boundaries are being violated or when threats begin to present themselves, then maybe jealousy can be justified.
Usually, jealousy can arise as the result of the personality that you have more than it does as a result of other peoples’ actions. A lot of times, we can become jealous because certain situations trigger these unresolved feelings and insecurities from our past. Mostly, we feel jealous whenever we see certain threats to our relationships. However, a lot of these threats can be real – and it’s during these situations wherein jealousy can be justified.
1. When someone breaches the boundaries that are set in relationships.
Of course, all relationships are always going to need a certain set of boundaries that govern the dynamics between two people. And it’s important to set those boundaries to ensure that the chemistry is not compromised. However, these boundaries can be breached a lot of the time – and it’s okay to feel jealous when that happens.
2. When someone starts flirting with your partner.
Of course, you are going to feel jealous when someone else is flirting with your partner. Sure, you always want to encourage your partner to have friendly relations with people outside of your relationship. But you don’t want anything to be too intimate or flirty.
3. When your partner gives more attention to their friends than your relationship.
It’s only normal for you to want to spend as much time as possible with your significant other. However, you also don’t want to be demanding ALL of their time. But when you notice that they spend more time on their friends than on you, then maybe you’re justified in feeling a little jealous here.
4. When your partner changes priorities in the relationship.
There are so many priorities that demand a person’s attention in life. And you always want o be encouraging your partner to be living their lives the way they want. However, if you feel constantly deprioritized in favor of your partner’s career, hobbies, and other interests, then it’s justifiable for you to be jealous.
5. When you feel like your efforts are underappreciated.
Naturally, you will want to give as much as yourself to the relationship as possible. But sometimes, it might feel like your efforts aren’t really all that appreciated. And that can be a huge bummer when that happens. It’s okay for you to always want to feel like you are being valued by your partner in your relationship.
6. When your partner doesn’t value the time that you spend together.
Picture this: you are both out on a romantic date. However, instead of looking at you, your partner is constantly looking at something else – the TV, the newspaper, the phone screen. Whatever. It’s okay for you to feel jealous about this because of the quality time you spend together is essential in your relationship.
7. Then your partner reveals things about themselves to other people but not to you.
You ALWAYS want to be the first person your partner goes to for important news. And it’s okay for you to feel jealous when you discover that your partner has been keeping things from you even when they open up to other people about it.