“Is your passion fueled by the sex or the person?”
You’re in a good place in your relationship with your significant other. You’ve gone out on more than just a few dates with each other and you’re starting to develop a rhythm with one another. You are starting to become really comfortable with each other already. You have introduced one another to each other’s set of friends. You have some really good dynamics in the bedroom. You have had your fair share of memories in the relationship too. You are starting to really become invested in the relationship. And you have had your relationship milestones as well, but you still haven’t yet gotten this particular one: you haven’t said the words I love you to each other yet.
Of course if you want your relationship to last, then you’re going to have to start expressing your love for one another eventually. But the trick is in making sure that your feelings are real and the timing is right. You always have to understand that you can’t force yourself to fall in love with another person. You also can’t be dishonest about your feelings in a relationship if you want it to have a legitimate shot at going all the way.
Before you actually make your admission of love to your partner, you are going to have to ask yourself a few questions. These questions might be difficult to answer, but you can never be too careful when it comes to love. You have to reflect deeply upon your feelings and your relationship as a whole. Here are a few key questions that you need to be asking yourselves before you formally make your declarations of love.
1. Are you fully sober?
You never want to bastardize your admission of love by bringing alcohol into the equation. Everyone knows that people do stupid things when they’re under the influence of alcohol. And that’s why you don’t want to waste such an important milestone in your relationship by letting alcohol take over. Make sure that you are fully sober and all your faculties aren’t compromised by alcohol at all.
2. Is your passion fueled by the sex or the person?
There is just no denying that a lot of people confuse their feelings of physical attraction for love. You have to understand that your feelings of physical attraction for another person don’t necessarily translate to love. Just because you can get turned on by another person instantly doesn’t mean that you are in love. There is a substantial difference between having a healthy sex relationship with a person an a proper romantic emotional connection with someone.
3. Do you really understand what love means?
You would never start using words in your personal vocabulary without fully understanding them. That’s why you should never really admit your love for your partner even though you don’t fully understand what being in love entails. You have to be able to understand the responsibilities that come with being in love with a person. You have to be able to consider the gravity of the words that you use and the effects that they can have on other people.
4. Is your partner ready to hear it from you?
Just because you’re ready to admit your love doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is also going to be ready to hear it from you. Remember that timing is a very important aspect of any relationship. It’s not enough that you have a good synergy going on or that your feelings are genuine for each other. You still have to be wary of the timing of the situation. Don’t say I love you when you know perfectly well that your partner isn’t ready to hear you say it.
5. Are you at the point in your relationship wherein it is necessary for you to say it?
Sometimes, you can take away from the value of a milestone if you conduct it prematurely. This is another manifestation of how timing can greatly affect relationships. Yes, you can say it now and you and your partner would feel happy about it. But it doesn’t exactly make the situation ideal. If it isn’t the right time for you to say it, you shouldn’t have to say it at all.
6. What do you expect to get out of your admission?
Expectations are important in any relationship and your expectations must always come from a place of love and affection. If you are thinking that your admission of love would pressure your partner into admitting love in return, then that is the wrong idea. You have to admit your love without expectation. You can’t compel your partner to say it back to you.
7. Do you really want to say it because you really want to or are you just being pressured to do so?
Your admission of love should always be intrinsically motivated. You can’t let the outside world pressure you into saying it. It must always be genuine and you must want to do it only on your own accord.
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