Of course, in relationships, we have all been taught that it’s very important to always be honest and transparent to the people we love the most. While this is true to some extent, there is also a limit that exists. You don’t necessarily have to share EVERY single thing about yourself to your partner. In fact, there are some instances wherein the concealment of the truth would be much better for your love and your relationship in the long run.
There are just a few things that are better left unsaid and that’s the reality of it. There are a select few secrets that you are allowed, and maybe even encouraged, to keep undisclosed from your partner. These are the kinds of secrets that if brought out into the open, would be of no help to anyone. They may cause more harm than good and it would be best to just keep mum about them throughout the stretch of the relationship.
With any kind of romantic relationship, it’s always going to require a whole lot of effort, commitment, trust, and mutual respect. And with all those things, you should always be able to find effective communication. And with effective communication, there has to be a certain sense of sensitivity, carefulness, and empathy when expressing personal sentiments and intimate thoughts.
There is a time and place for everything. Open communication doesn’t automatically espousing a tactless personality. You still have to be able to maintain your tact. You still have to make sure that you aren’t just blabbering about random things to your partner in an effort to be open. You still have to be calculated and methodical with the things that you want to share and you have to be careful about the manner with which you express these things.
So what are some examples of secrets that are better of kept as secrets in a relationship? Well, just read this article to find out. Here are some things that you don’t necessarily have to disclose to your partner.
1. Your complete sexual history.
You don’t have to be completely open to your partner about your sexual history especially if you know that the truth wouldn’t necessarily affect or concern them at all. If you have to discuss sexual histories with people your partner may know, or if you have to disclose sexual encounters with people who have had diseases, then it’s better for your partner to know. But otherwise, you should probably just keep the truth hidden away in the dark.
2. Your sexual dreams.
If you have sexual dreams about your partner, then go ahead and share them. But if your dreams involve other people, then just keep it to yourself. It’s information that just plainly doesn’t need to be shared at all.
3. The fact that your partner isn’t the best you’ve ever had.
If your partner isn’t performing as well as other people in a sexual capacity, then they don’t really need to know that. Hey, it happens. Not everyone can be the best at everything. So even though your partner is totally doing it for you in the other aspects of the relationship, it’s okay for them to not be the best in the bedroom. It’s a matter that is relatively insignificant and it’s something you don’t really have to share.
4. Emotional trauma from the past that makes you uncomfortable.
There’s a reason why you want to suppress emotional trauma. It makes you uncomfortable and it could trigger unhealthy feelings and mindsets. So if you find that these destructive thoughts won’t be good for you, there is absolutely no need for you to bring them up with your partner. They just have to be able to respect that there are things about you that you just aren’t ready to talk about yet.
5. The little things your partner does that frustrate you.
Of course, if you truly fall in love with someone, you want to accept that person for who they really are. You don’t want to be imposing your unreasonable standards and requests on them. Yes, you want to push your partner to be the best possible versions of themselves. But you shouldn’t try to change the parts of them that you don’t like especially when they are just minor frustrations.
6. Your phone’s message and call log.
Just because you are in a relationship with one another doesn’t mean that you have to grant your partner total access to your phone. You are still entitled to your privacy even when you have nothing to be guilty about.
7. The fact that you still think about your ex every now and then.
Of course you’re still going to think about your ex every so often. You are only human after all. This is most acceptable especially when you and your ex had a profound relationship with one another. It’s normal for you to go back and think about the most important and prominent experiences of your life. It makes you human but that doesn’t mean you have to share this fact to your partner.
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Do you believe in safe secrets? Talk to me in the comments below!