Commitment. No relationship is ever going to survive without it. However, it’s not something that you’re going to be able to find in all relationships. And there are many factors that go into whether a relationship is a committed one or not. And it’s a similar narrative that tends to plague a lot of couples; a lot of relationships where commitment issues seem to be prevalent. You meet someone that you’re interested in. You get to know this person; and you develop a kind of chemistry together. Everything is going great and you feel like nothing could be better.
It’s the early stages of your relationship but you feel like you have something serious at hand; like the two of you could really make something out of your relationship together. But then time goes by, and you start to feel like something is out of place. You think that maybe your relationship isn’t as strong and as great as you thought it was. And you can’t quite put a finger on it. You feel like your chemistry is still there, but something is just keeping you from taking things to the next level. It’s like there’s a ceiling on your relationship and you don’t understand why. You desperately want your relationship to evolve but you don’t know why it isn’t able to.
It’s likely that the culprit is the person that you’re with. If you’re ready to take things to the next level; if you’re going to stay committed to the relationship, then there’s no reason why you wouldn’t be able to unless your partner didn’t feel the same way. And that’s often where all the bad blood and the drama can build up. You end up discovering that you both want different things. You want an exclusive relationship where it’s just the two of you really connecting with one another. But then you find out that he might not feel the same way. Maybe he’s just not as invested in the relationship as you are. Perhaps he isn’t TOTALLY there. That’s a problem.
Of course, you don’t want to rush him into anything. You don’t want to pressure him. But it also gets to a point wherein he needs to start picking up the pace for your sake. You should always be willing to wait for love; and you should always be willing to be patient for the people you love. But you also need to be looking out for yourself. And it gets to the point where you need to put your foot down and say that enough is enough. You can’t wait anymore.
You can’t wait for something that you’re not even sure of having in the future. So when you notice that your guy just isn’t going to commit to you, it’s best that you just walk away and find someone else who will. Here are a few signs that he just isn’t going to commit to you:
1. He has told you that he’s afraid of commitment.
Obviously, if he tells you that he’s not willing to commit or that he’s not looking for anything serious, then that’s a big sign right there. It’s only going to be your own fault at this point if you let him play you even after he tells you that he won’t commit.
2. He doesn’t really talk about the future with you.
He doesn’t talk about the future with you because he knows that there is no future to speak of in the first place.
3. He doesn’t open up much about the intimate aspects of his life.
He really doesn’t want you to get to know him. He doesn’t want to make himself vulnerable with you. He doesn’t want to put himself in a position of weakness with you because he has no plans of committing to you.
4. He doesn’t make an effort to make you feel included in his life.
He doesn’t let you in. He doesn’t want to make you feel like you have an actual role in his life. He doesn’t want you to start getting comfortable because he knows that the both of you aren’t going to last long anyway.
5. Your instincts are telling you that he’s not going to commit to you.
You really have to learn to pay attention to your gut. You have to learn to trust your instincts. They’re there to protect you.
6. He doesn’t spend much time with you.
It’s not that he’s not willing to commit to anything per se; it’s just that he’s not willing to commit to you. He would rather spend more time on his career, his friends, or maybe even his hobbies over you.
7. He cheats on you.
And of course, the biggest sign of all. If he’s not comfortable with dating just you alone, then you know he’s a guy who’s definitely afraid of commitment.