If there is one thing that you have to know about players, abusers, users, and manipulators is that they are very good at what they do. They are masters at controlling people. They are incredibly dishonest and they do such a good job at masking their real intentions. They are so good at gaining peoples’ trusts even though they have ulterior motives that are less than ideal. And it’s your job to make sure that you protect yourself from these kinds of people. You must always have your own back because you can’t allow yourself to be susceptible to the abuse of these individuals.
You can’t allow yourself to become a willing victim. And that all starts with arming yourself with the necessary information that you need to keep yourself guarded. If you find that that a lot of the signs that are listed on here actually apply to your partner, then it’s highly likely that he’s definitely just using you for reasons other than love. And you can’t blame yourself if that’s the case. It’s not your fault that he’s a total douchebag. It’s not your fault that he’s a terrible human being. You can’t blame yourself for being a potential victim.
That’s not something that you should be feeling guilty about. There are people all over the world who get taken advantage of; and there’s no shame in being a targeted victim. You just have to make sure that you do your part in keeping yourself protected. Once you realize that you are with a user and abuser, you have to take action immediately. You can’t be passive about it. You can’t hopelessly think that things are just going to change if you wait things out. It doesn’t work that way. If you are able to identify the signs early on in the relationship,
then the easier it will be for you to escape the situation that you’re in. If you allow yourself to get sucked in despite all of the red flags, then that’s when you become partly to blame. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in that position if you know damn well the risks that are involved with doing so. You can’t allow yourself to continue to stay with a man like this. He doesn’t have your best interests at heart; and it’s only going to kill you slowly every single day that you choose to stay with him.
You are depriving yourself of the opportunity to really pursue the love that you deserve; the kind of love that you really want. So how do you know if he’s just using you or not? Well, here are a few signs that you need to be keeping an eye out for:
1. He never really adjusts to your time.
Everything that you do in your relationship is always done on his own time. He never adjusts to you. He is always making you adjust to his schedule. He is selfish and he doesn’t care much about anything other than himself.
2. He doesn’t talk to you about future plans for your relationship.
He doesn’t talk about the future of your relationship because he really isn’t interested in having a genuine relationship with you at all. He knows that you’re going to eventually get sick of him using you; and so he’s just making the most of the moment.
3. He asks you for money to buy personal items for himself.
He treats you like his personal trust fund. He’s always getting as much money from you as possible just so he can buy stuff for himself.
4. He asks you for way too many favors.
It’s as if he’s treating you like his personal maid. He has you running errands left and right. It’s as if your entire existence is based on making his life easier. And yet, he never does anything to return the favor.
5. He has a reputation for using women.
If he has a bad rep already, then you know that that is a genuine concern that you just can’t ignore. If he has treated women terribly in the past, what’s to stop him from treating women terribly in the future?
6. He doesn’t really make you feel like he’s committing to you.
He doesn’t give you a sense of commitment and security. He doesn’t really give you stability or consistency. He’s hot and cold – and you notice he’s only ever really nice to you when he knows that he’s going to be able to gain something substantial from it.
7. Your friends tell you that he’s using you.
Of course, you shouldn’t be basing your love lie on what your friends think. But that doesn’t mean that you should be disregarding the things that they tell you as well. They are looking out for your best interests; and if they smell something fishy, then you can at least check things out for yourself.