You’re so done with playing around in dating and relationships. You’re so tired of having to jump from one guy to the next. You don’t want to keep on engaging in temporary flings and casual hookups anymore. You want something serious. You want something real. You want to be with someone who is actually going to stay and fight to be with you forever.
But you can’t seem to find much luck in that department. Every guy that you fall in love with starts out really nice and you think that they have what it takes to be with you for the long haul. You allow yourself to get really invested in them. But you don’t really see any of your risks paying off. You are constantly finding yourself feeling disappointed, let down, and heartbroken over how none of your relationships are ever built to last.
Why is that?
You genuinely believe that you have what it takes. You really do believe that you are deserving of love. You think that you have enough experience in the field to actually make a relationship last. Heck, you’ve even seen people who have never been in relationships before getting it right on the first try. Why is it that you can’t get it right? Why is the world so unfair to you?
Well, here’s the thing. Just because you think that you’re ready for a long-term love doesn’t mean that the guys that you date are going to be ready for the same. You need to be able to scout for the boys who are actually going to show a willingness to go the distance with you. There are so many men out there who aren’t ready to commit and who would only be willing to hook up on a casual basis.
And you have to be very careful with these men. They are so good at saying all the right words and doing all the right things just to get you to trust them. But once they feel like things are getting a little too serious in the relationship, then that’s when they will decide to bail. These kinds of guys are so good at manipulating girls in order to just hook up with them. But they don’t have any real intentions to commit to them for the long term.
Fortunately for you, it’s possible to spot these guys out right away when you’re just starting to date them. There are just certain things a guy would only be willing to do if he’s serious about having a long-term relationship with you. And if you find that a lot of the things that are listed here actually apply to the guy that you’re dating, then consider yourself in luck. It’s very much likely that you’re with a man who wants to be with you for the long-term.
1. He takes the initiative in actually dating you.
He doesn’t wait around for you to do all the heavy lifting. He doesn’t wait around for you to put on all the moves. He takes the initiative to actually turn your relationship into something real.
2. He tells you about the things that he’s most passionate about.
He’s trying to give you a good glimpse into his life. He wants you to see him for who he really is so that you wouldn’t have any trouble with trusting him and being with him.
3. He actually talks about future plans with you.
He doesn’t shy away from talking about future plans with you. He understands that if he wants your relationship to have a future, he’s going to have to be willing to talk about that future.
4. He introduces you to all of his closest friends and family.
He lets you into his world in as intimate a capacity as he can. And so he decides to introduce you to all the important people in his life. He’s essentially telling you that you’re important to him too and that he sees you sticking around for the long haul.
5. He takes the time to really listen to you.
He doesn’t just automatically shut down whatever you have to say. He really takes the time to listen to you and pay attention to your needs and your desires in life.
6. He shows a willingness to make compromises for you.
He shows a willingness to adjust and make compromises for you. He understands that he can’t always have it his way if he wants to keep you in his life. And he’s okay with making those compromises.
7. He opens up to you about his fears and vulnerabilities.
This is a real sign that a man truly trusts you and relies on you. He trusts you enough to bare his whole self to you. He doesn’t put any walls up anymore. He doesn’t distance himself from you. He truly is letting you in.
I had most of these signs, got engaged to find out he was a narcissist among other things .
Dated a narcissest myself. Didn’t register until after when I had to work hard on getting my self esteem back. Never again!
I’m going through a divorce with one wish me luck!
Only few lucky Man getting such feeling sharing partner in life, otherwise no relationship will countine without Insentive.
There are times he seems to be all in then “light switch off” i don’t get it. Complete change for no apparent reason. “Cold shoulder syndrome”. I’m wondering 🤔.. We do talk about this & he completely shuts down & appears upset & angry as if I did something. I’m left hanging & wondering & concerned about saying anything else. Week later he’s all in again.
Tell him he doesn’t get to be all in until he’s ready to talk about what happened.
Sounds like he has another girlfriend
I have seen the same thing over the last 2 years. He brought it up first, so we started talking about getting married. Started making plans. Then there are time frames where he moves into the valley of indecision! He’s And not really sure he ever wants to be married again. And then, just out of the blue, he seems sincerely all in again and talking about things in the future sense. I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to get married during one of his “All in” times, and Then he decides he’s made a big mistake! And too, this wishy washy attitude…. is a red flag to me that he can’t make up his mind between me and someone else!
Yep heaps out there, plus there’s women narcissists too opposites normally attract,
It makes you wary and not want to trust again
One year ago my fiance left. He was my knight and shining armor. Promised to never hurt me, make me cry, never speak to me in bad ways and more. We were even going for full custody of his son. Then BAM. I was talked to like a dog. Ignored, shut out, treated like shit, and never In my life did I ever feel so alone with my man sitting right next to me. Now I’m treated as if don’t exist. Sad part is I can stand in a gaS station line directly behind him and yet he turns Around and acts like he never met me, like we never lived together for 4 years. It hurts alot. He was/is the total opposite of the man I met and fell in love with.
All of us need to get together and just vent seems like we all have dated the same man, lol. I’m over it though
TOTALLY UNDERSTAND N AGREE I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY MEN HAVE TO TREAT US LIKE THAT!
WE GIVE N TREAT THEM LIKE A KING N YOUR THEIR PRINCESS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY START TREATING YOU LIKE SHIT N TALK TO YOU ANYWAY THEY WANT N PUT YOU DOWN 😥😡WTF HAPPENED TO THE LOVE N CARING ,HUGS,,SMILES N WANTING TO BE WITH YOU TREATING YOU LIKE A LADY?? MY BOYFRIEND TALKS DOWN TO ME
Hey I’ve been with a man forb15 years and realized he’s a narcissist and he turns everything to !my fault or problem but he’s realizing that I’m not going wait around for him to grow up! I too him so, he dumped his little bag hoe chick and came bacon to me because he realized that I am the one for him. So we are planning bon moving in to our place together and yes not cheating or mentioning other women anymore and he finally suggested couples counseling soon happy but we have a long road to work through before we are good. So ladies if you believe he’s worth it then stick around and make him realise that you are his heart! Trust me he might surprise you in the long run!
It would be nice to see more about how a woman should treat a man. I’ve done all those things after falling in love with her and dating her for a year and making it through covid. Now it’s either her way or no way, no compromise. I have centered my life around her and have gotten very little in return. But I am supposed to buy her a new house and car. And now when I try and talk to her it seems like it is just an opportunity to be negative and go against whatever my ideas might be. She can go on a emotional rage for days on end with mocking and accusations. I’ve never felt so abused in all my life. And to be frank there’s too many specific do’s and don’ts for sex to be pleasurable anymore. Sure did not used to be that way. Counseling? Maybe living in near poverty with her daughter will wake her up? At some point a person just stops caring. Ladies if you compliment and encourage your man, the results might surprise you.
You can never change a narcissist! They con and manipulate you with their sweet talk and lies!
I was with my X for 15 we never got married. We had 2 daughter’s together and that is the only good thing she ever did for me! All she did was cheat on me all the time! It was never true love! I never cheated on her one and treated her like gold! I would love to find someone that i could love and get loved back! And not have to worry every single time she leaves the house that she is cheating on me! Why can’t I find a woman like that! It’s not fair!
great ways
She was married for 30 years to a narcissistic alcoholic and she’s so damaged from that experience and claims that her heart is blocked and black. Despite all my efforts and after six months of dating she won’t let me in to her world so we broke up.
I have seen the same thing over the last 2 years. He brought it up first, so we started talking about getting married. Started making plans. Then there are time frames where he moves into the valley of indecision! He’s And not really sure if he Ever wants to be married again. And then, just out of the blue, he seems sincerely all in again, and talking about things for in the future sense. I don’t know exactly what to think. I do know that I don’t want to get married during one of his “All in” times, and Then he decides he’s made a big mistake! And too, this wishy washy attitude is a red flag to me, that maybe he can’t make up his mind between me and Someone Else! His ex-wive still calls and texts him occasionally. I can tell when he’s had contact with her, he gets moody, and that is when he moves back into the valley of indecision. I don’t like that she tries to stay friends with him, even though they’ve been divorced over 3 years. Maybe I’m wrong to think that is being disrespectful to me!??! I voiced my opinion on that when I caught him texting with her the other night, while he was sitting right beside me!
I had all these signs but in the end he was just playing me until he got his ex back