Is it all just for the show?
There are just so many modern relationships with couples who have substantial imbalances in the way that they conduct their dynamics. To be more specific, there are just some couples where one sided is just giving way more than the other side. At the surface level, this doesn’t necessarily look like it’s a big problem. Usually, we are all told that we have to always give as much to the relationship and we should never expect anything in return. But unfortunately, that kind of mindset is what leads to toxic and abusive relationships.
It’s perfectly okay for you to have expectations for the relationship. It’s okay for you to demand a certain level of effort from your partner especially when you feel like your own personal needs aren’t being met. It’s not about being selfish. It’s just about establishing a sense of balance in the relationship that promotes peace and harmony in your love. When imbalances in a relationship persist, it creates more room for eventual resentment, bitterness, manipulation, and abuse. That’s why you should make it a point to find a partner who is just as invested in the relationship as you are.
Here are some signs that you care more about the relationship than your partner.
1. They feel entitled for you to adjust your schedule to make way for their needs.
They always expect that you would move the heavens and the earth just to accommodate them into your life. They really expect that you would be willing to drop everything just for them. It’s not even just about your schedule. If you happen to have conflicting dreams or goals in your life, they always expect you to be the one who backs down and makes way for them to succeed. Somehow, you never get to call the shots. You never get the chance to be the one on top.
2. They always make you feel exhausted on an emotional level.
You find yourself constantly having to please them because it feels like it’s never enough. They never give you the praise, approval, or the validation that you need from them in the relationship. You feel like you are constantly having to break your back just to make them happy but in the end, you don’t even get anything in return not even a simple thank you.
3. They don’t expose you to the most intimate parts of their lives.
There are parts of their lives that they would never expose you to the most intimate parts of their lives. They never like to tell you about their careers. They don’t want you to feel included in how they make decisions about their work life. They don’t take the time to make you understand the things that they are most passionate about. They don’t want to discuss or introduce you to their most favorite hobbies. They feel like it would be a waste of time and effort to make you a bigger part of their life.
4. They always expect you to be the one who cleans up after them.
This can work on both a literal and figurative level. In the literal sense, they always expect that you handle all the chores around the house. They don’t put in the effort to actually clean up after themselves because they expect that you’re going to be the one who does it for them. They treat you more like a personal maid than a real romantic partner.
5. They are very unreceptive of criticisms.
They don’t really value your opinion especially when it concerns their own negative traits. They are so quick to criticize you and call you out on your faults. But when it’s your turn to call them out on theirs, they are unreceptive. They will act defensive and confrontational. They won’t take what you have to say positively because they will shun it to the best of their abilities. They won’t take your thoughts and opinions seriously because they think that they are always right and you are always wrong.
6. They refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.
They would never own up to their personal screw-ups in the relationship. They will always find a way to pin the blame on you. They are masters at playing the victim and guilting you into thinking that you are the reason for so many problems in the relationship. They will act like complete children who are just purely unwilling to face the consequences of their actions and so they shove you under the bus so you can take one for the team.
7. They don’t find it important to integrate themselves into your life.
And lastly, they don’t really care about playing an important role in your life. They don’t make it a point to be nice to your friends and family. They don’t ask you about how you’re going with your job. They don’t help you out with your problems. They don’t really take an interest in your deepest passions. And they certainly couldn’t care less about how you feel at any given moment.
Talk to me
Does this resonate with you? Talk to me in the comments below!