Let’s get straight to the point. Even though a relationship should make you happy in life, it shouldn’t be the sole source of happiness of your life.
While it’s important for you to be vulnerable and open with one another in a relationship, you still have to be able to maintain your sense of independence as an individual outside of your relationship. You don’t want your sense of self-worth and validation to be tied into whether you’re in a relationship or not. If you let your sense of happiness depend on your romance, you are placing too much unnecessary pressure on your relationship and you risk imploding as a couple as a result of all of that pressure. You should love and respect yourself enough as an individual to have a healthy lifestyle going on for you regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not. And also, you should give your relationship that space and freedom it needs to come into its own without all of the pressure that you willingly place on it to make you happy.
Contrary to what many people may think, there is no other human being on the face of this earth who can supply you with all of the happiness that you need to get on with life. You have to understand that if you make your partner feel like your sense of happiness is dependent on them, then you risk making them feel overwhelmed. They don’t want that kind of pressure on them. No one does. Yes, they want you to be happy. But they would be too afraid to take on the challenge of being your sole source of happiness because they know that they won’t always be able to make you happy for the rest of your life. There is always a serious fear of severe disappointment and abandonment there whenever you know that your partner is relying too much on you to be happy.
Of course, you shouldn’t be thinking that just because you see yourself as an independent individual that you are exempt from exhibiting codependent tendencies in your relationship with your partner. And that’s normal. But it’s always important for the both of you to make a conscious choice to be somewhat independent so as to relieve your relationship of any unnecessary pressure. Remember that your relationship needs to breathe, and it can’t do that if you are constantly placing a stranglehold on it with your neediness.
But how do you know if you’re being clingy or needy? How do you know if you’re relying too much on your relationship for your happiness? How do you know if you’ve happened to cross the line when it comes to codependency? Well, there are a few signs that you could keep an eye out for. Be self-aware and make sure that you don’t poison your relationship with your own neediness. Here are 7 signs that your sense of happiness is dependent on your relationship:
1. You automatically adopt your partner’s mood regardless of how you really feel.
You always take on your partner’s mood not because you’re empathetic, but because you are too afraid of what would happen if the two of you don’t fall on the same page with one another. You care too much about maintaining peace so you end up faking how you feel.
2. You always rely on your partner to give you validation for who you are.
You are never sure of who you really are or where you stand and you rely too much on your partner to give you the strength that you need to really stand up for your convictions.
3. You feel slightly jealous whenever your partner finds happiness outside of the relationship.
You know that your relationship is really the only thing in the world that can bring you happiness and so you feel threatened when you know that your partner is starting to find happiness elsewhere.
4. You consistently ask your partner for reassurance.
You are never really sure about yourself. You need to go to your partner to calm you down and reassure you that you are on the right path. Otherwise, you feel completely lost and hopeless.
5. You rely on your partner to make your decisions for you.
You never want to make any decisions for yourself because you are too afraid of taking sole accountability for your actions. You do whatever your partner wants you to do because you don’t want to offend them with your independence.
6. You think that it would be impossible for you to be happy without a relationship.
You try so hard to cling to your relationship because you don’t think that you could ever find happiness without it.
7. You hate it whenever your partner goes out without you.
You have a serious fear of missing out especially when it comes to your partner. You are very needy and you want all of your partner’s attention.
Talk to me
Have you been in this place? Talk to me in the comments below!