Are you coming on too strong?
Of course you would never want to act dismissive or snobbish. Whenever you like someone, you would always want to make that person feel like you’re interested in them. You wouldn’t want to risk making them feel like you’re not really into the whole situation. You might end up losing an opportunity to have a relationship with someone you genuinely like by acting indifferent and disinterested. But then again, on the other side of the spectrum, you also don’t want to come across as someone who is overly eager. You don’t want to seem to desperate because that sends red flags to anyone you might be interested in dating. You want to be able to practice everything in moderation and make sure not to be too extreme with your methods. So if you find yourself guilty of a lot of the items that are listed on here, then you really need to make a few adjustments or else you’re going to risk intimidating and scaring away the person that you really like. Here are some signs that you’re coming on too strong.
1. You are so quick to drop whatever it is you are doing for them.
It’s as if anything that you do doesn’t matter anymore so as long as you get to spend time with them. That should never be the case. You shouldn’t be so quick to drop whatever it is that you’re doing for a person that you barely even know. Yes, you have to open yourself up a little bit in order to bring this person into your life, but that doesn’t mean that you should be opening yourself up entirely. It’s normal to make sacrifices in a relationship but only when things start getting really stable and real.
2. You willingly let them take so much of your time and resources.
Never give another person all of your time. Not even when you’ve been in a long and stable relationship with another person will you be required to give that person all of your time. Remember that your time is always your own and you get to decide what to do with it. So if you just let this new person you’re barely dating take up so much of your time and resources, then you are essentially allowing yourself to be used and abused.
3. You let them take charge of all the date-planning.
Take the initiative when you plan your dates. If you keep rolling with the punches, then your potential partner might think that you’re so desperate that you would practically say yes to anything. Show your partner that you aren’t just some follower who is going to bend at their will whenever they ask. Showcase your own individuality as a person and show that you know how to plan a fun date night for the both of you to have a good time.
4. You always let yourself be available just for them.
Stop making yourself so available every single time. If you constantly say yes to them, then they are going to start feeling like you have really nothing going on in your life. You have to be able to build a strong and steady life for yourself that is full of fun and excitement. Whether or not you’re dating someone, you should have a life that you can be proud of and a life that requires your constant attention. It pays to be busy. If you turn them down every now and then, they’re going to think of you as a very important person with a very interesting life.
5. You ask them out even after they bail on you.
If they bail on you, let them be the ones to reach out to you first for a make-up date. If you’re the one who is constantly reaching out and they still keep on bailing on you, then you are just going to look really pathetic. Let them be the ones to reach out to you and let them make the effort since they’re the ones who cancelled on you in the first place.
6. You are the one who always calls and texts them first.
Never be the person who is ALWAYS calling and texting first. You will make it seem like they are the most important people in your life even though you barely know one another. While you want to express your interest, you also have to be able to practice a lot of restraint. It’s also a great way to gauge if they really care about you if they start making the effort to call or text you first. Try being patient.
7. You act a little extra in the relationship even when there’s no need to.
Stop acting so extra. Take a chill pill and just let things take their natural course. Don’t force the relationship to rush through the various stages that it needs to go through. You have to let things go at a comfortable and steady pace.
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