How do we know which fights are good and which ones are bad?
Fights are an essential part of having a healthy relationship. Sounds weird? Well, it’s true. But it depends on what kind of a fight you have with your partner. If the argument clarifies the whole situation and ultimately draws you two closer, then it’s a good and healthy fight. If the fight turns into exaggerated arguments that lead to emotional disturbances, then stop right there. That can cause severe damage to your relationship.
How do we know which fights are good and which ones are bad? Following signs will help you discover that:
7. Inattention when your partner is speaking:
You just do not want to hear what they are saying. This happens because you want to prove your point right and consider their words gibberish. Do not forget that working on a relationship is a two way process. If you expect your partner to listen to you, then you need to have the capacity and courtesy to listen to your partner too. Plus, when you talk about what is wrong then, most of the time, problems are solved instead of getting worse.
6. Only “I” am right!
This is wrong. Having a desire to win every argument, even though you are at fault, is not right. On the other hand, your partner will feel degraded and low because you never let them make you understand the situation. This can actually make the whole fight turn into something ugly because that can surely make your partner feel devalued.
5. If anger has replaced normal talk:
No matter how serious a fight is, avoid angry words and tone. Anger always makes you regret everything later. Isn’t it better to avoid it altogether? Having an argument and creating uproar are two very different things. No matter how careful you are, one angry sentence and you lose the whole game.
Do not forget that your partner has feelings and your harsh words can hurt them beyond repair. Wouldn’t it be heartbreaking when you will wake up the next morning and find your partner gone? You will just want to kill yourself for saying those words out loud and hurting them. – Continue reading on the next page
4. If the same problem is arising again and again:
You certainly got to do something about this. If you are fighting about the same thing every other day, then it’s a sign that your relationship is static and is not moving forward. Either you are not being able to solve the problem through the same kind of argument everyday or the problem is actually not a real one and one of you is dragging it because you do not know what else to talk about.
3. If you are not letting your partner speak:
Even if your partner is wrong and is the one due to which the fight started, let them speak. That way, they will realize how liberal and openhearted you are and will respect you even more. They will accept their mistake and be apologetic about it. At this time, you have to be the bigger person and forgive them if you really love them.
Apart from this, having turns to speak and listen gives time for the mind to relax and think things through with a cool attitude.
2. If the argument has gone beyond your power:
Are you the kind of person who does not know the right thing to say at the right time and it is affecting your relationship? It is time that you realize that you inability to handle a bad situation will make you lose the one person you love so much. In such a situation, you can take help from your mutual friends and family. But make sure that your partner is okay with that. Sometimes, people don’t like other people meddling into their matters, so remember to let your partner know about your next step.
1. If there is persistent shouting:
Just like anger is unhealthy for a relationship, shouting at your partner will make them lose temper too or make them extremely scared of you. Both situations are bad and make your partner hate you for saying bad stuff to you. Even if they become normal with you after the fight is over, they will never forget what you said to them. This can be damaging to their ego and self respect and they will constantly feel like leaving and wanting to escape.
If you are having all these problems during an argument with your partner then it is time to rectify a few things because we know that you do not want to let go of your partner over silly fights. So stay in control of what you say and do during a fight.
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How do you handle arguments in your relationship? Let me know in the comments below!